#1
Another newish song. Your crit shall be returned.

We?re all in this together
There?s no way out
It?s time to stop thinking about
What could?ve been and what?s gone by
Running here asking why

In this tunnel
We?re all heading for the light
Running blindly in the dark
Going toward our final fate

The light at the end of the tunnel shines brighter
We can all see each other
And the path to salvation
Strewn with bodies of the fallen

I see people killing people just to get to the light quicker
Why can?t we live along without blowing each other apart?
We don?t need your kind here
Crawl back to where you belong
And live with your cryptic fear
Of those you?ve never met

You have your God; we have ours
Can?t we move along side by side?
We?re not worthless pieces of shit
We have the power to fight back
But in this tunnel
We?ve got other things on our minds

Wondering aloud as time goes by
Hear the echoes ringing as we move along
Please don?t hurt my brothers and sisters
They did nothing to you
No one did anything at all

Now it?s the end of the world
Where do we go now that it?s over?
We come hurtling into the light

And these voices of angels
Guide us on our way
Together without killing
Why didn?t they come at the start?
We might have had a change of heart
#2
hey man, this is good. A song finally on ug that doesnt go like

'i have this gun
ill blow my brains out
i like drugs and committing suicide
im an attention seeking weirdo'

i like the words, and the lyrics. If only more people wrote stuff like this. 10/10

(please crit https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=374487)
VENUSIAN
FB SC BC TW
Patterns In The Ivy present ethnicity on an intriguing and dedicated level. ~Ambient Exotica
A mesmeric melange of yearning voice, delicate piano and carefully chosen samples. ~Lost Voices
#3
I like it, maybe not as much as rabidguitarist apparently does but it's good. A slightly over-done topic but this is as good as I've seen on these forums. There's something nagging at me saying that this isn't as good as it could have been, perhaps maybe just some reworking of some of the verses might help.
#4
I agree with David, this song definitely had potential to be better. It's good the way it is, but it could be better. I like this part the best:

Now it?s the end of the world
Where do we go now that it?s over?
We come hurtling into the light

So again, great job!
Quote by forty-six_and_2
Whoa I just had a revelation: What if god is a dog?A big white fluffy dog that drools a lot and pees on random people and humps strangers' legs?
Quote by 0fishaleded
Wait..if someone owns a dog that does that..WTF
Quote by forty-six_and_2
Than...they own god! That's it. I'm getting a dog.
#5
It was good, but, I don't know, I just lost interest in it around halfway through, there was just nothing keeping me wanting to read on.

I think it was the lack of any kind of flow, or rhythm to the piece. For me, it needs to be good, so that I'm not having to stop start with the reading of it all. I also just got bored, basically. There wasn't any cheeky wordplay, or wit or humour that kept me wanting more.

Sorry, I just didn't enjoy this really.

You'll get a seven out of ten from me though. But I definitely think that this could be better. Maybe one to come back to at a later date?

If you could be as kind as to crit back here, it'd be much appreciated