#1
I posted my whole song all tabbed out for my friend. Its a pretty fast song, as fast as I can play it. Tell me what you guys think (no plagerizing my song please)
Riff 1
e------------------------------------
B------------------------------------
G------------------------------------
D------5420------5420-------54202/454200
A-2-2-2---------------0-0-0------------
E-----------3-3-3----------------------

Intro 1
e-----------------|--------------------------------------------------|
B-----------------|--------------------------------------------------|
G-12-11-----------|-------------------------------15-14-12-----------|
D------14-12------|------12-14-14^-12-14-14^12-14^--------12-14------|
A-----------14-12-|12-14----------------------------------------14-12|
E-----------------|--------------------------------------------------|


Riff 2 ^^x2^^
e--------------------------------
B--------------------------------
G--------------------------------
D-14-12-9------9-7-5-----7-5-4p0~-
A---------10-7-------7-5----------
E--------------------------------

Play intro 1x2

Verse(all palm mute)
e---------------------------------
B---------------------------------
G-7777777-------------------------
D-7777777-7777777-9999999-5555555-
A-5555555-7777777-9999999-5555555-
E---------5555555-7777777-3333333-
****** ****** ****** ******
Told me to get good grades
Lotta good that did me
Colleges don?t want me
Neither does society
Never been that cool
The girls never liked me
I guess I didn?t have enough
Money for them


Bridge
e------------------------------------------
B------------------------------------------
G------------------------------------------
D-999-12-9-7-777-8-7-5-555-6-5-3-----5-3p0-
A-777--------555-------333-------5-3-------
E------------------------------------------

Verse
Went into a pawn shop
Had a look around
That?s when I found it
My purpose in life
Guy said it could be yours
Said it already was mine
Guy then said to me
You?ll haveta pay me anyway

Chorus
Same chords as verse but different rhythm
Come with me
You will see
The difference
Between them and me
I don?t follow tune
Like they do
The only thing I do
Is play my tune


Riff 1x2
Follow your heart
That?s what they tell me
What they forget about
It?s in the wrong direction
I learned to play this
Hoping I might get laid
Wrote a girl a song once
My cheek still hurts to this day


Come with me
You will see
The difference
Between them and me
I don?t follow tune
Like they do
The only thing I do
Is play my tune

Riff 3
e-----------------------------------------
B-------------14-12-----------------------
G-12-11-----------------------------------
D-------14-12-------15-14-12-------14^-12~
A----------------------------12-14--------
E-----------------------------------------

Riff 2

Riff 1x2

I can?t sing
I can?t dance
I can?t play
I?m nothing special
All I have left
Is this little song
I am the worst
At what I do best


Solo (improv atm)

Chorus
Come with me
You will see
The difference
Between them and me
I don?t follow tune
Like they do
The only thing I do
Is play my tune

Come with me
You will see
The difference
Between them and me
I don?t follow tune
Like they do
The only thing I do
Is play my tune

Riff 1x4
Last edited by Schecter1277 at Jun 12, 2006,
#2
wow, man. i love it!, i suppose cos most people dont post music, i cant get a feel for the songs, but in this case i can. I had a go playing it to see what it was like, kinda less than jakey, addition of some brass would be awesome. I need to look at more of your stuff. pop-punk forever.
VENUSIAN
FB SC BC TW
Patterns In The Ivy present ethnicity on an intriguing and dedicated level. ~Ambient Exotica
A mesmeric melange of yearning voice, delicate piano and carefully chosen samples. ~Lost Voices
#3
Yeah, I tried to just have fun with the song, so I knew lyrics wouldnt be anything special, because they really aren't. Nothing in the song is, it's kinda just meant to be a fun song not really saying anything, but it's something everyone can tap their foot to, that was my goal. I'm hoping to be able to get some bass up, and there will be a second guitar thrown in there somewhere. It's kinda a messy song, but it's meant to be, kind of a "cut-loose" song. People today get too indepth with their songs, and with this I tried to break the tradition.
#4
Told me to get good grades
Lotta good that did me
Colleges don?t want me
Neither does society
I?ve never been handsome
The girls didn?t like me
I guess my money
Wasn?t good enough for them

--I READ IT WITH A BREAK (PAUSE) AFTER EVERY LINE, AND IN DOING THAT, SOME OF THE LINES SEEM ERRATIC. THE TWO ME'S IN L2/L3 DIDN'T DO MUCH FOR ME. THE REST IS PRETTY SOLID. NOT GREAT, BUT SOLID.

Verse
Went into a pawn shop
Had a look around
That?s when I found it and
Strummed a couple of chords
Guy said it could be yours
I said it already was
Guy then said to me
Will you pay me anyway?

--WHAT A GREAT VERSE. NICE. I WOULDN'T REAPEAT GUY AGAIN, LEAVE IT UP TO THE INTENDED AUDIENCE TO FIGURE THERE IS DIALOUGE GOING ON. VERY ORIGINAL VERSE ACTUALLY ON A REALLY OVERDONE TOPIC. I REALLY LIKE IT.

Chorus
Same chords as verse but different rhythm
Come with me
You will see
The difference
Between them and me
I don?t follow tune
Like they do
The only thing I do
Is play my tune

--I'D LEAVE OUT THAT FIRST LINE ABOUT THE CHORDS AND RHYTHM. LOL, JUST KIDDING. BUT I DO THINK THIS HOOK COULD BE IMPROVED JUST A LITTLE. COME WITH ME/YOU WILL SEE IS ALMOST A LITTLE TOO COMMON FOR THIS PEICE. SO FAR THE LANGUAGE HAS BEEN REALLY COMMON, STRAIGHT TO THE POINT. I THINK THIS PART COULD BE THAT PART THAT REALLY MAKES THIS A MEMORABLE PEICE. I HAVE A SUGGESTION, BUT IT'S JUST THAT (I'M NOT HERE TO TELL YOU HOW TO WRITE ...)

COME WITH AND YOU WILL SEE
THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN EVERYONE ELSE AND ME


Riff 1x2
Follow your heart
That?s what they tell me
What they forget about
Is it leads you off a cliff
I learned to play this
So that I might get laid
Wrote a girl a song once
My face still hurts

--LAST LINE IS PURE GENIOUS. I LOVE IT. ALOT OF GREAT THINGS GOING ON IN THIS VERSE. I'D PREFER TO A CLIFF AS OPOSSED TO OFF A CLIFF, BUT THAT'S ME. L6 IS A LITTLE STRONG, I'D FIGURE OUT A DIFFERENT, LESS DRASTIC WAY TO SAY THE SAME THING.

Come with me
You will see
The difference
Between them and me
I don?t follow tune
Like they do
The only thing I do
Is play my tune

--STILL TRYING TO WORK OUT THE LAST PART OF THE CHORUS ...

I can?t draw
I can?t dance
I can?t sing
I can?t play
All I have left
Is this little song
I am the worst
At what I do best

--NOT A BAD LITTLE BRIDGE. THE LAST 2 LINES DON'T REALLY FIT TO ME, YOU ALMOST JUMPED A LITTLE TOO MUCH TO BE BELEIVABLE. I'D EITHER INCLUDE IT IN A VERSE, OR ADD A FEW LINES TO MAKE A SMOOTHER TRANSITION.

Solo (improv atm)

Chorus
Come with me
You will see
The difference
Between them and me
I don?t follow tune
Like they do
The only thing I do
Is play my tune

--STILL NOT QUITE SURE WHAT TO DO WITH THAT LAST PART OF THE HOOK, OR IF MY FIRST PART SUGGESTION WAS ANY GOOD, BUT AS IT STANDS NOW, IT'S PRETTY STALE USING TUNE TWICE AS A RYHME COUPLET. I DON'T KNOW, NOT MUCH HELP ON THAT.

Overall, I like how you posted the entire song. I wish more people would. Sure makes it a lot easier to figure out the "jist" of the song. Look forward to reading some more of your stuff.
LISTEN:
A Myspace introduction to:

LEARN:
It's not always rainbows and butterflies,
It's compromise that moves us along. -- Maroon 5
#5
I updated the lyrics, to make it flow a bit more. The bridge isnt really a bridge, it's just a verse, but I liked to wrap it up with it. The rhythm on the chorus...I dunno you'd have to hear it, it allows me to use tune twice, because it follows a steady rhythm and slow singing, to harmonize it almost, then at the end the rhythm almost changes on that last line to downstrokes then a punchy palm mute, so it almost seperates from the chorus. So I felt I could get away with it. Btw did you play it? I want to know what you guys though of it entirely, since it is a song based more around the music than the words.
I'm hoping to get some recording software so I can just give you guys the song and let you listen, then tell me what you think.
#6
Wow man you put alot of work into this. Th lyrics are pretty good, the only thing though

I am the worst
At what I do best


Is from Smells Like Teens Spirit by Nirvana. Besides that it is pretty good. I really do not know how to change this besides getting rid off that line. Keep up the good work.