#1
Hi! I could need a better title, and plz crit it at all! Thanks a lot!

Damn, you're so adorable
I could stare at you all day
'cause looking at you feels incredible
But you seem to be far away
How can someone be so beautiful
You're the perfect harmony
On the other side it's painful
'cause for you I'm a minnow in the sea

You're one like no other
You're not hearin' my cryin'
Each day you get further
From being mine
You're far, so far away
So far away from me

Oh, once I've even dreamed of you
You said I'm the most important one to you
But that was just stupid dreamin'
A dream, which I woke from, screamin'
There're more dreams like this
Which make my heart amiss
It's broken -anyway
So I'll just dream of you, all day

You're one like no other
You're not hearing my cryin'
Each day you get further
From being mine
You're far, so far away
So far away from me

Be mine! Be mine!
Otherwise I'm gonna be dyin'
Be mine! All mine!
Make me stop cryin'!

So far away... never mine...
At least you stopped your lyin'
Fear the angels holocaust, they're screaming
Dreams of pain forever entering your head
Death and hatred loathing, on mankind it feeds
Earth is dead and gone now, we've brought it to an end
#2
Poor rhyming, AABB doesn't cut it unless your really, outstandingly clever with it. This isn't. It's forced, and sounds incredibly weak.

I also think the chorus needs work, it has no flow and no hook that grabbed my attention.

6/10. this just didn't make the grade for me

If you could crit back, here is my latest. Many thanks.