#1
Ummm.... these are the first lyrics I've written. I'd like to get some good crit on em. The song is called "My Opposite". I'm nto sure what else I need to say up here, cept don't steal em... and stuff.

On the outside
Can you see me?
Only see what I show
Just like a game of cards
But the game is over and I've folded.
Now the cards are up
The inside of me explodes
Spontaneous combustion runs through my mind
Feel it now
My opposite

It's not so normal
It's not so great
You can't see the pain
You can't feel the hate
You'll never know me now
You'll only know
My opposite

Beyond the inside
beyond what is near
past what is close
and farther than what may appear
there's a whole nother side
to me and my life
you couldn't see it
till i rolled the dice

now im unchained
now i'm let loose
forgive for this eruption
don't worry about the disruption
it's all part of
my opposite

It's not so normal
It's not so great
You can't see the pain
You can't feel the hate
You'll never know me now
You'll only know
My opposite

It's too much
Just back down
Take this opportunity and leave
It'll be too much
It'll hurt too bad
Just back down
My Opposite

It's not so normal
It's not so great
You can't see the pain
You can't feel the hate
You'll never know me now
You'll only know
My opposite
My.... Opposite....
#2
It's not so normal
It's not so great
You can't see the pain
You can't feel the hate
You'll never know me now
You'll only know
My opposite


this was good, i really liked it. obviously i like the chorus the best there... relatable i think, at least to me. <shrug>i kind of liked the imagery in the first verse, that was cool.

the only real thing i had with this one is this part... i like the first 4 lines, but the last 2 i dont' know. doesn't flow as well. see what you think, it's up to you.

now im unchained
now i'm let loose
forgive for this eruption
don't worry about the disruption
it's all part of
my opposite

see waht you can do.