#1
This is my first attempt at ever writing lyrics. Be honest with the critiques, lieing won't help me at all.

Consumed by Confusion

Head tells me one thing
Heart says another
In a world full of answers
I'm running for cover
Can't seem to decide which way to go
I don't want what's right
I just want to know

Consumed by confusion
Don't know where to go
Don't want what's right
I just want to know

Thoughts drowned out
By the wreck of society
I just want to shout
Please leave me be!

I'd sulk in my sorrow
For the rest of the day
But what comes tommorow?
Besides my dismay

Consumed by confusion
Don't know where to go
Don't want what's right
I just want to know...


Thanks in advanced,
Alex
Last edited by pecklax01 at Jun 12, 2006,
#3
Yea It's a good Start...

The more you do it, the better you get...

Don't try and sound good, just try and sound Natural like you speak or how you want it to say.

The thing I've always done is take an idea and build on it, which it looks like you've done in a way.

Think a lot about Metaphors.... because they can be really powerful.

Also Ryhme does not have to be end of line... you can have it in the ideas... there are different ways of ryhming

Here is an example from one of my bands song of end of line

Nothing is done without knowing the Purpose
So ask to find what's under the surface
If the answer that comes is going to curse
Don't worry because it will all have a purpose.

Every line does not have to ryhme.

You can also have ryhme through imagery, symbolism and metaphors.

An unkown angle dangles down
Into the bodies that mangle

See how that whole two lines has that rounded feel to it while still keeping the idea.

Cool... Just "follow your heart" and write only for yourself... never write for a crowd unless... actually... never write for a crowd
#5
Quote by tp600
horse crap





The lack of metaphor and imagary is a brave move making the lyrics quite simple and barren. It leaves little to the imagination instead to give quiet a strong message. Its simple and powerful, i would consider it quite punky if that was what you were attempting to achieve. All in all a good first effort, but i would suggest trying more imagary and poetic devices as well.
#6
its not punk. Punk doesn't just mean simple and thoughtless.

Listen to the Clash boyo. Lots of metaphor and imagery there.
#7
Quote by tp600
its not punk. Punk doesn't just mean simple and thoughtless.

Listen to the Clash boyo. Lots of metaphor and imagery there.


Yeah but sometimes punk is quite direct for example Nazi punk's f*** off.
Also doesn't just? meaning in some instances it does mean that.
#8
Yea it does depend on the song though... it seemed to me though to be leaning towards new wave almost Nu-Metal style lyrics.