#1
yeah well i´m german so it´s quite hard for me to write in englishbut i think i kind a get it.... so well this is my second songtext as for me much more better than my first but yeah i think nevertheless there´re sme mistakes or something so i would please it if you could help me a little bit and say if you find it rather good or bad.

VERSE:
Massmurder
Insane killing
Believe in death and pain
A unstoppable train
Painfull and insane screams
Tortured corpses in my dreams

CHORUS:
Misery makes you stronger
with pain you feed your live no longer
the little whisper is saying you something
the whisper says kill kill kill
it won´t stop you have to do what the whisper is saying
´cause the whisper wont stop with no bag or praying
just do what she says just kill kill kill

VERSE:
you bring your victims the endless fear
the fear they will have till their dead
you rp their soul apart you tear
THEIR ****ING HEART OUT!

BRIDGE:
A deadly killer
with no remorse
you love their corpses
you love their blood

VERSE:
The killing gives you satisfaction
it´s almost orgasmic
every time you kill the whisper is gone
you think noe its gone forever
but then it comes back like a scream

Chorus

Hostage of this circle of horror
the killing never stops
slowly you decay in self-sympathetic
sympathetic of your earlyer live
the live without the killing
#3
The killing gives you satisfaction
it´s almost orgasmic

Er that kind of creeps me out, see if you can be a little less strange because it does sound perverse, whether that is the intention or not...

Overall, it's a little direct for my tastes but I can imagine it with heavy metal riffs so good job for that genre.

Remember to stick 'an' in front of words beginning with vowels.
#5
this song is pretty dark, good job. i like the lyrics, some vivid, deatailed words usually help to make a great song. and the length is good, i get picky about length because i love long songs. good job. crit mine?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=5855375#post5855375
~gtrfrk


founder of the dunlop pick fan club


RIP Roger "Syd" Barrett


"Let the good times roll"