#1
Ok, so I was bored the other night and decided to try writing something, its not much and is really more of a poem, but its my first real try, just wanted to see what you guys think.

It sinks in
No control
Instinct and action
Can't think or ration
I'm off course with no captain
The dam breaks
The waters warm
My eyes burn
numbness and disbeleif gone
Washed away
Drowning
I want to wake up
I will wake up
Please wake me up
From this hurricane of emotion
But again I forget
Your not next to me
And the stars are not out tonight
I'm reaching for something thats gone
The sails torn
The hull breached
Only a memory
I sink below the surface
Out of your mind
I'm gone
The water calms
#2
I think you could make that into a song.
"VANDALISM: Beautiful As A Rock In A Cop's Face."
Kurt Cobain
#3
I like it... it flows really well in some places, although some bits could use some work. The repetition of the 'wake up' part doesn't really work for me. I agree with the guy above, it could make a pretty good song
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