#1
Prognosticate

thursday, 2 am
someones always playing with fire
no, she cant realize the spark igniting
"would you take a bullet for me"
laugh, never for you
"I'll pick you up at six tomarrow"
what a lie....

waiting, dilagence
should of known to know
she wouldnt show

friday, seven pm
well do ya now?
he's so much greater?
so superflous superstition to examine
let me judge him then
is he ready for your bullet?
if he's such a saint, whos god will save him now?

(chorus)
I'll die for you
will he?
hope he's ready
its a shame if he keeps his word
the heavenly father wont be around
heavenly father wont give a fu** about him

saturday, six pm
kiss the hand with a noose around the finger
a week of much adventure for you I see
got much more done since you've been with me
two years, couldnt value to what you've recieved in so short of time

(chorus)
I'll die for you
will he?
hope he's ready
its a shame if he keeps his word
the heavenly father wont be around
heavenly father wont give a fu** about him

i would really like feedback since, well, only people seem to like to click on links and "read" my things but i guess have no comments. its kind of dumb to load a screen then leave nothing.
I guess you gotta write about politics to not be emo
#2
I really like this piece...its different and the lack of any rhyming scheme just lends itself to the piece, because it seems that there is n oreal structure to the song yet it still tells a story and the rhyming scheme keeps it at an almost random structure, I like it...However there is just one thing I have to say, I can't see how this would work with music, as a poem its top notch, but i can't quite hear it in my head with any music, not necessarily a bad thing i 'spose...

EDIT: Oh ye and I know what you mean about people only reading pieces and not critting them at all
#3
Quote by Zug Thug Seany
Prognosticate

waiting, dilagence
should of known to know
she wouldnt show


that one line is ****ing amazing for some reason, realy realy good. mabey make it ryme a bit more, but you were probly going for little rhythm structure. overall every very good.
#4
yeah, i dislike having like sixty views then no to none comments, i apreciate the comments you left, even if some were to be like " YOU SUCK BALLS AND YOUR SONG FOLLOWS YOUR LEAD"...yeah, heasecase....jerry cantrell is awesome.
I guess you gotta write about politics to not be emo
#5
I really like this piece. Don't really have much to say about it except how i just love the way it was written, the structure that it was in. 9/10.
©Ibanez4