#1
I wrote this after listening to Metallicas "Sanitarium (Welcome Home)" over on over.


Wasteland
Verse one:
Millions marching, seemed so cold
That's why I tried to break the mold
The rest of the world gets refreshed
I live with robots made of flesh
It's here on earth the map has shown
But it seems like Hell for me alone
I try to make it but it's hard
With the cross burning in my neighbor's yard

Chorus:
It's a wasteland
I call my home
Where I get burned right to the bone

Verse two:
I stand alone, while standing tall
And I bang my head right through a wall
Imagine what would happen if I were caught
By those angry people with angry thoughts
I still can't see how a man
Can pull a trigger with a Bible in his hand
They put those demons on my shelf
Restrain me before I hurt myself

(Chorus)

Verse three:
They tell me that I'm strung to tight
The worst part is I think they're right
Oh s*** I think I heard a sound
And there's no help for miles around
I think it's coming from behind
They broke the window in my mind
I'd rather die alone in space
Get me out of this f***ing place!

(Chorus)
#2
Yeah! That was really good, you definately have something there. That is some pure poetry right there.
This is what you get.
This is what you get.
This what you get when you mess with us.
#4
dude thats realy good, i like your rhyming. tells a pretty cool story. you can tell you were listening to metalica alot though, not a bad thing however.
#6
Aye, mould has a 'u' in it.

Metallica ballad material, like it, move along, standards are high here.
#7
i like it alot. one thing i would change is the chorus, the last line of it should be split up into two. when i get burned
right to the bone

otherwise great job.
~gtrfrk


founder of the dunlop pick fan club


RIP Roger "Syd" Barrett


"Let the good times roll"
#9
the last line of it should be split up into two


I meant to, just a little typo.

i would put at the end "where i walk side by side with perfected clones"


Good idea, I just might do that.
#10
i thought it was decent but i honestly see no metallica influence in it at all. it may be just me but i don't see it. overall, it was decent lyrics. keep up the good work.
The trouble with nude dancing is that not everything stops moving when the music does.

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