#1
This a song me and my band started writing. give me some tips on how to fix it up.
thanks.

Why didn't I lock my bedroom door
To block out all the screaming and to ignore
The violence it makes me wanna go insane
You've tortured me for way too long
I'll never be the same

And today I'll make it on my own
I don't need you anymore
And today I'll i never be the same
Cuz you took it all away
Last edited by Blinkfanatic108 at Jun 15, 2006,
#2
'The violence it makes me wanna go insane
You've tortured me for way too long'

It sounds like a serious topic regarding family violence and your off hand use of language takes away the severity of the song. Be a little more formal yet still emotional. Really dig in deep and write it in your blood(metaphorically) and I'm sure it'll be great.
#7
you said "no more" bad language like saying no insted of any usually sounds bad.
proper grammer is a good road.
other wise i thought it was good.