#1
This is a song I've been writing for a while. I usually don't submit to UG, but I figured why not. This song is about when someone drinks how they can change when they are drunk, and how when that person is drunk they are a lot more open to making moves on someone who is in a relationship. If that makes any sense. The one thing I am bothered by is the last four lines of the first two choruses, I prefer the last four lines of the last chorus but I think they have more meaning if they are only used in that chorus. I'll do crit for crit if you leave a link. Thanks is advance.

Your Chemical Inbalance Means my Infidelity

Here we are, again,
Your having a fun time.
You've got a beer in your hand
And your explaining that it's not a crime
I can't accept the fact
That your the only girl I see right through
And I can't stand how I am
Killing me over you killing you

Pick that chin up off the ground
Keep those chemicals in place
Wipe the vomit from your mouth
Brush your hair out of your face
So much to do so little time
I sure hope you aren't too scared
We both hate to be between these lines
But we both know that I care

Now I am getting worried
What if I choose wrong?
This decision is so hurried
Yet I have had so long
And I can't accept the fact
Your the only girl I see right through
and I can't stand how you say
How you say this isn't changing you

Pick that chin up off the ground
Keep those chemicals in place
Wipe the vomit from your mouth
Brush your hair out of your face
So much to do so little time
I sure hope you aren't too scared
We both hate to be between these lines
But we both know that I care

Pick that chin up off the ground
Keep those chemicals in place
Wipe the vomit from your mouth
Brush your hair out of your face
Try to get the dilation out of your eyes
Try to get the smell out of your clothes
Check to see that you're still alive
We've got a lot more left to go
Quote by soccermom
Of course eating unbelievable amounts of anything can probably harm you, but i chose bananas because they look like willies.
#2
Wow that was awesome great work! Not much I can say except that when you said

"I can't accept the fact
That your the only girl I see right through
And I can't stand how I am
Killing me over you killing you"

It seemed to me that the rhyme between through and you seemed kinda forced, but thats just me.

Other than that theres not much I can say id give it a 9.5/10