#1
I had a satisfying dream about pork chops last night so I wrote this this morning.

My belly is rumbling
I?m in need of a little pork chop
My saliva is running
At the thought of those little pork chops
Shove ?em in the oven and switch it on
But now I have to wait for an hour or more

Now they?re on my plate
But the doorbell rings
Some arsehole at the door
Selling stupid things
He was ramblin? on
My patience was all but gone
I looked at my watch and realised with horror
That I?d been here for almost an hour

And I remember what Pliny the Elder said to me
Don?t let them pork chops get cold
I remember what Pliny the Elder said to me
Don?t let them pork chops get cold
Don?t let them pork chops get cold
You stupid bastard don?t let them get cold

I?m starting to get angry
My Vesuvius is about to blow
I tell him to go away
He tried to shove his foot
Between the door and the jamb
But he was just too slow

I rush in to the kitchen
See my pork chops
Sitting on the plate
On the countertop
Stick my knife inside one
Not a good amount of steam
So I stick them in the microwave
And unleash the whipped cream

I take the strawberry flan
Out of my fridge
And scoosh some whipped cream over it
I pick a strawberry off the top
?Ooh, that?s some good shit?

I see my pork chops moving slowly in the heat
Hurry up machine I?m getting restless on my feet

And I remember what Pliny the Elder said to me
Don?t let them pork chops get cold
Don?t let them pork chops get cold

I hear the beep and I rush over
I can see the steam rise
I?m as happy as Larry

I cut a bit of pork off
And skewer it with my fork
I pop it in my mouth and begin to chew
And that?s when I realised I don?t like pork
#3


You just made my day, thanks.

How drunk were you?
Populus vult decipi. Decipiatur.

Quote by Mistress_Ibanez
It's can be a contraction and genitive case.

Quote by Mistress_Ibanez
If you cut down on these costs students won't learn so well, effecting the "quality"...
#4
^^
I don't know if you were being sarcastic or not, but you made me laugh.

^
I wasn't drunk haha. It's not often a dream appears orientated around pork chops.
#5
I can never remember my dreams. They usually involve getting eaten or captured by aliens though. Meh.

Haha, this was a nice chuckler, I didn't really get the "happy as larry" line though.
There is no place else to go
The theater is closed
#6
Haha this is is brilliant... do you intend to make this a song or just keep it as it is?
According to BS statistics, 92% of teens have moved on to rap. If you're among the 8% who doesn't consider rap to be real music, donate your brains, as you clearly aren't using them.
#7
^^
Happy as Larry is an expression meaning to be very happy.

^
I wouldn't mind making this into a song actually. I don't really know what style though. It's a light-heartedsong but the mood I plan intended is for it to come across as serious.

And a thank you to everyone who has read and replied.
#8
that.....was.....AMAZING!

it makes me feel all warm in side.
Quote by Metal-X
But last time I cranked my amp up. A small bird flew by at the same time I did a pinch harmonic.... and it exploded....



Too Late
#10
Quote by b.c.rich rules
.........................um, I'm gonna take a guess and say you really like pork chops.


Actually I don't. Yep, I'm a strange 'un
#11
dude, that was awsome. very funny and light hearted, i was laughing throught the entire song. i wouldnt realy change anything. put something in the style of primus behind this and your good to go
#14
Yes, I just wrote a long assed reply to your and synth's posts in the lyrics tips thread, kinda explaining what i was expecting from these dream-pieces, and i see i took it a bit too seriously. Nevertheless im never one to turn down a chuckle-a-long such as this.
Filth, pure filth... That's what you are.
#15
^^
Thank you. It's not often a title alone can have you drooling at the prospects it presides over, but this one I think is doing that.

^
I've just read your posts (obviously when you look at the time for this reply and the one in there) and I'm appreciateive of them. I'm the one who doesn't take this one too seriously. How can anyone write a song about pork chops without it becoming a parody of itself?
#16
Thats bloody brilliant, you've completely turned my mood around, thank you immensely deamonika, kudos to you
Need Singing Advice?; Read the first page then ask questions.

Quote by punkman_123
Damn Auals, you're messed up. :P


Quote by ZanasCross
This just reminded me of the time that my brother in law texted his mom on the night after his wedding. All it said was "Consummated."
#17
Quote by amy_09
when i read the "pliny the elder" thing i thought, well this will be good. And then I saw the pork chop thing and thought, This will be AWESOME. and was I disappointed? Absolutely not, I loved it.


Me too

Populus vult decipi. Decipiatur.

Quote by Mistress_Ibanez
It's can be a contraction and genitive case.

Quote by Mistress_Ibanez
If you cut down on these costs students won't learn so well, effecting the "quality"...
#19
Good old Dæmönika!

Loved it, it's such an innovative breath of fresh air, it would make such a great comedy act! It made me laugh out loud

Great stuff, not really much i can say about it... I pretty much agree with everything positive everyone else has said about it.

Can you check out ine mate? It's in my sig. Cheers.
#20
I thought that was good and well written. It also made me laugh. While I was reading it, I was thinking about how I can see Primus doing a song like that.
#21
ill take the pork off your hands just send it in a box to somewhere in wiconsin