#1
new song, crit 4 crit.

"MEMORIES LOST"
a letter thrown away
a picture lost today
hold on to the thought


you lose and you forget
everything that was ever thought
you think its no big deal
but when you try to find
you discover it is lost

memories like these
are lost every day
at the time you think its ok
but just know, you have to keep
these memories

theres no way
to go back to this day
and take back everything lost
these are priceless, there is no cost

memories like these
are lost every day
at the time you think its ok
but just know, you have to keep
these memories

hold on to these memories
~gtrfrk


founder of the dunlop pick fan club


RIP Roger "Syd" Barrett


"Let the good times roll"
Last edited by gtrfrk123 at Jun 15, 2006,
#2
really good but rather vague....dont get me wrong thats not a bad thing just wanted to put that out there but i liked it
Led Zeppelin rocks the hardest!!!
#3
a letter thrown away
a picture lost today
hold on to the thought

Everything after this is fine, I'm just not sure if that fits in.
My favourite part is the chorus but I'm not sure if the last line of the chorus really fits in.
#4
weird, your twelve years old....have a pink floyd picture....and live in wisconsin....i'm from wisconsin too...fresh....i like the idea of the song, what inspired it?.....twelve years old and you like pink floyd, weird...
I guess you gotta write about politics to not be emo
#5
Quote by Zug Thug Seany
weird, your twelve years old....have a pink floyd picture....and live in wisconsin....i'm from wisconsin too...fresh....i like the idea of the song, what inspired it?.....twelve years old and you like pink floyd, weird...

Well i'm not a normal 12 yr old obviously. too start i play guitar. i love rock music and pink floyd is my favorite band. I love the music they make, With Barret or With Gilmour. I do live in wisconsin, where in wisconsin do you live?

a couple of days ago, i was thinking about my old girlfriend (yes i had a girlfriend, i know, weird) I realised we hadn't talked in about a year, and i kind of missed her. I called her and we are now pretty good friends. That is the story behind this song, and the message is hold on to letters and pictures etc (memories) because they might come in helpful/useful later.
~gtrfrk


founder of the dunlop pick fan club


RIP Roger "Syd" Barrett


"Let the good times roll"
Last edited by gtrfrk123 at Jun 15, 2006,
#8
Ok, great message but i thought it was quite bland. Correct me if i'm wrong but i found absolutely no evidence of metaphors and imagery in your piece. This is what you need to iclude to improve it. This said there weresome good little parts to this, but on the whole it was quite bland.

So yeah, include metaphors and imagery, and good luck

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=5872457#post5872457