#1
How is it?
crit for crit

There's someone you need to meet tonight
He?s the lover kept quiet
There?s something you got to know tonight
It?s an addiction, if you try it
There is something the world doesn?t want to tell you
It?s been a secret for some time
And then the world will question everything
because your best friend?s invisible

Just pass it off, cause they can?t see
The other side to reality
Don?t be afraid, to take a stand
Cause the castles fallen in this sand

There?s a secret that all should know
He?s the lover kept quiet
There?s a piece of the puzzle in this life
That never seems fit quite right
There?s something that seems to offend the world
Forget, and let the truth be told
They?ll say that man your crazy
For these are things that I have never seen

Just pass it off, cause they can?t see
The other side to reality
Don?t be afraid, to take a stand
Cause the castles fallen in this sand

Just press on, cause they can?t see
life after death is reality
Call out Jesus Christ and take stand
Cause the rock?s more solid than the sand

Just pass it off, cause they can?t see
The other side to reality
Don?t be afraid, to take a stand
Cause the castles fallen in this sand
#2 member of the Bill and Ted fan club

"There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It lies between the pit of man's fears, and the summit of his knowledge. It is an area which we call ... THE TWILIGHT ZONE."
Last edited by Naffin at Jun 15, 2006,
#2
it's quite good, but room there is for improvement, esp. the lines: "Call out Jesus Christ and take stand", that sounds like its straight out of a gospel church, and "Cause the castles fallen in this sand" Good, strong line, but, "This Sand" you speak of, What is it? What is the sand, to be honest, i think it should be "in(to) the sand", but thats just my opinion, think about it. But apart from a few bad lines, it has great rhythm, esp. in the chorus, and could be a very good song with a few ajustments
Please crit mine, its in my signature below
"If you want beef, then bring the ruckus." - Marilyn Monroe
#3
awesome job. the rhymes were great and it was very catchy.


crit my song please
"The Fear of the Future"
B.C. RICH
#4
Have you even been to a Gospel Church BENE? Even if it is, what's your problem. So it's a Christian song? Rate the song, not the content.

I enjoyed it. Powerful mix of emotions and not the same as everything else here.
#5
Quote by ss311
Have you even been to a Gospel Church BENE? Even if it is, what's your problem. So it's a Christian song? Rate the song, not the content.

I enjoyed it. Powerful mix of emotions and not the same as everything else here.

No, but ive seen them on tv before , besides, the point i was trying to make was that it didn't seem like a religious song, thats all, no need to lose your rag, c'mon, just expressing how i felt about it, its what was asked for, and i gave my honest opinion
"If you want beef, then bring the ruckus." - Marilyn Monroe
#6
Well you know how i feel about this song mayte.
Im not being biased, but WOW....
This is sooooooooooooooo awesome!
xxxx
Quote by calvinthecanadi
I'm now an official Franzaholic.


Meep is a word.
Use it.