#1
Okay heres the deal:

My friends and I are in a band together, have been for a while. For the longest time we only had 2 guitarists (1 of them me) and a bassist. A couple months a go my other friend jumped in and became our drummer. So at this point I thought everything was looking up, after all a drummer is essential to the band and everything. But now everything about our band just sucks. My bassist and other guitarist are constantly jamming without me and the drummer. Now, they live close together, and transporting drums is a bitch, so I understand why they jam a lot together, but at the same time I would expect them to make at least some effort to include me and the drummer. Unfortunately, they never do, and we havent jammed forever. Not to mention lately Ive started to notice that it seems like they tell everyone they are in a band, then never do anything that a legit band would. Im worried that this whole thing is just a publicity stunt.

So Im stuck

They are some of my best friends, and I dont want to let them down by ditching the band, but Im not sure if I really want to waste my time. Should I quit and move on or try and fix things up? Any help is appreciated.
#2
I say ditch em, you could be doing things alot more important than being left out of practices. Besides, if they're real friends they'll get over you not wanting to be in the band anymore. If not screw em.
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#3
Hmmm . . . . sounds like you've got some kind of monstrous problems running rampant there.

Have you tried talking to these guys, to let them know how this whole situation is affecting you?

Have you talked to the drummer, and maybe tried to work out a jam schedule with him?

Speaking of the drummer, how often can you jam at his house? And if you can, why aren't you?

Just askin'.
#7
be like "bitch." i'd say quit. but talk to them before hand. one of the biggest problems that bands have today is poor communication
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#8
The reason I cant jam at my drummers house is because he lives in a house with 5 other family members, none of whom want to listen to us play. Basically, the place best suited to jam is my bassists house, since both his and the guitarists gear is there (thats how often they jam together. The guitarist doesnt even bring his guitar home with him.) and his parents are gone a lot.
#9
I am acutally the drummer of this band and it does get kinda annoying when me and spaceman are always trying to get a jam session in and they cant or whatever....I have only been in the band for a little while so it doesnt bother me that much...Also i know they would be pretty pissed cause they dont know any other drummer.....
#10
if they keep playing without you, something's wrong. just ask them wtf their problem is
#11
I can see exactly why Spaceman doesnt go and say WTF is your problem because we are all good friends and that may make things really akward between them...
#12
What I dont get is we spent months trying to recruit a drummer, but now that we have one they dont really seem to care.
#13
I think we have only jammed with the whole group once and that was when I had my drums for a like 2 weeks and was horrible now I am taking lessons and can actually play real stuff...
#14
possible solution-- if getting with the drummer is a problem, do more acoustic/low volume jams with hand drums like congas or a djembe. more opportunities to practice as it will be much easier than hauling drums and setting up mics. also the lower volume facilitates communication--work out songs at low volumes, then have a full jam with the drum kit on regularly scheduled days. this has worked brilliantly for me. good luck!
#16
Start another band in the mean time, and just let whatever happens to this one happen.
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#17
I say you guys(thread starter and drummer) go start your own band. Then when the other two guys realize that you guys have been making progress they might feel differently about the whole situation...
#18
I don't know any bassists and I dont think Spaceman does either and we (atleast I) don't want to ditch them. I am still getting better so it doesn't bother me as much yet, but I havn't been with the band for nearly as long as Spaceman has...
#19
here's a thought... if you barely get to practice with them anyways, don't you have all kinds of free time to be in another band? you could easily be in two bands, since one doesn't do anything. then you don't have to quit the friend band, because it sounds like it's gonna go nowhere, and you'll be able to join a real band.
#20
We don't really know of anybody who plays bass/guitar that we would want to be in a band with....
#21
You could just be in two bands. You could still be in the band with your friends, and until they decide to start acting like a real band, you could be playing in another band.
#22
ok just by listening to the dialogue between pinb and spaceman, i think i know what the problem is... pinb sounds like a friend of spaceman, but not a friend with any of the other members. its one of those things where you try to bring together two different groups of friends of one person, but they dont know eachother, and in this case i think, dont like eachother. pinb might want to keep jamming with them, but they dont like pinb, or feel like hes intruding, and so they are like "fine, let spaceman play with his stupid new musician friend. at least we are still good friends, lets just jam by ourselves." so, you need to ask them if that is the reason, and if it is, tell them you never wanted pinb to join so you could play with some other friend, tell them that now that hes better he really IS an essential part of the band, and effects the friendship in no way whatsoever. who knows, they might not want to play with him period. if so, ditch pinb... yes pinb i know you are right above me. but that may be the only solution. if there is no compromizing, you and pinb are going to have to find a guitar player, and if you cant find a bass player, there are still tons of good bands with no bass player and 2 guitar players. so start your own band if that is your last resort. but i think the problem here is a clash of friendships.
#23
Glen you are actually WAY off we are all really good friends I have know our bassist since second grade. I am not really bothered by them not wanting to jam as much because I still need to be better but Spaceman and the other guitarist and bassist need to practice as much as possible...and its also a pain in the ass to move my drum set.....
#24
When would be the appropriate time to bring all this up? After we jam? Should I just talk to one of them, or should the whole band be present?
#25
I would say do it with all of us so we all here the same stuff....
#26
Turns out things are pretty cool with the band atm. We jammed today (first day of summer) and for the first time we really flowed together. Our drummer (pinball) has improved 10x and that made everything awesome. Everyone was excited about how things are and the other two seem just as happy about jamming together as I was.
#27
I cant believe that the first thing we tried is already leading to something. The other two members were getting pumped about the jam session. It was also good because the "usual" sessions would be everybody doin there own thing, this time we did things together...