#1
well i just started posting on these forums, and since i get two a week... im gonna use them up right away lol. my other one's called Waste Me Away, id appreciate any comments on that one too.

the title for this is tentative, ive got a bunch of things im working on and i haven't really thought about it and decided if that's a good title or not. so for now its a working title.

same deal as last song. this one's pretty much completely done, including instrumentally. this was the first song i wrote with the band im in and my other guitarist and i have the music worked out pretty well.


you know that you can't escape me
you know that you can't hide from me
so take this song as your warning
cause you know that i have more fun... when you run

don't move, don't breathe, and sure as hell dont look up
im looking down, with you in my sights
you run, and you run, and you think that you're safe
but you'll learn the truth when i pull... this... trigger!

you know that you'll never see me
and i'll take my time with this shot
so come on lets race for your life
and you'll find out, (you'll find out,) that a bullet it hard to outrun

don't move, don't breathe, and sure as hell dont look up
im looking down, with you in my sights
you run, and you run, and you think that you're safe
but you'll learn the truth when i pull... this... trigger!


** solo **

** bridge **

don't move, don't breathe, and sure as hell dont look up
im looking down, with you in my sights
dont move, dont breathe, dont look up dont look im (this part is building up)
pulling the trigger! pulling the triggerrrrrr!! (and this part keeps building up until the last sentence (fragment, lol) is screamed)
#2
nice. this song reminds me of disturbed, just a little.
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#3
hmm, interesting. I dont really play disturbed style, but i listen to them and i like them. that's cool, thanks for the comment
#4
Pretty good. I really liked the line, "so take this song as your warning", for some reason. Out of curiosity, what genre would you classify it as?
#5
you mean the lyrics or the song as a whole? i dont know what you mean by lyrical genres, so ill just talk about the song as a whole.

its a fairly fast, punky type song. you know, lots of power chords played pretty fast. but there are some cool riffs and leads, and the solo that my other guitarist wrote is really sweet and fits the song perfectly. so its not too bland. well, hopefully anyway
#6
Yeah, I meant the genre of the song as a whole. You can't really figure out a genre by looking at lyrics. If you could, Nirvana would've been an emo band.
#7
Strong and angry lyrics. While not much was said, you still made this seem like it can be a great fun rock song to just throw on the radio and listen to, well forget on the radio because lyrics like this probley wouldnt be put on the radio lol, kinda scary just because of the gun and bullets, Lol. Real good none the less, I enjoyed it!
The Devil may.
Last edited by ShaneTheMan at Jun 16, 2006,
#8
Quote by korn is god
nice. this song reminds me of disturbed, just a little.

indeed, indeed it does, and as disturbed being my favorite band ( metal band), you have my respect man... good song
#9
thanks


what do you think of my other one? its not quite the same style but i think its pretty good.
#10
also any comments on a possible title if you dont like this one would be welcome too
#11
wot about 'the sniper' or something along those lines. If you think about it, it sounds thats its about that.
#12
all and all it is a good song. But the Chores (you run, and you run and you think you are safe) that part remindes me of the song time by pink Floyd but the 2 verse sounds kind of like crap but some of the song is good
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#13
ok, thanks for the comment
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