#1
Hi there!!! Please rate this song and by the way I hope my English is good....


Tranquilizer

Try to change the world while it's getting better
Left a hole in your letter
Keep the faith in your mind
Store your luck just behind
I'll burn the trace into your call
I look out the window I see you fall
Don't take a breath it could be bad
Chase the murder in your head
Close your eyes and try to understand
24 hours later you'll take my hand
the decision lies in your hand
I'll blow up your message in the sand
I'll leave my soul in this room
He's the one who cares for your doom
You left a doubt I'm gonna bleed
Take what you want but kill the greed
Take my mind and burn a sin
it's the end where everything begins
#2
its... not good. none of the lines have anything to do with each other. it just looks like you took random sentences that ended in words that rhyme and stuck them together.

furthermore its just the same thing over and over again rythmically. this would get incredibally boring very quickly. basically you could just loop one measure of music over and over and over again and sing this to it. there's no change rythmically or in the rhyme structure.
#3
Yea, I'm not trying to be harsh, but I read through that in about 5 seconds just because it was so simple. Like he said about you just getting and sentence and changing the last word so it ryhmed,...well is seems like you did that. Good Luck!
The Devil may.