#1
Hope you like it. All crits accepted

Last Endeavor:

I wrote you a message in a bottle
But it wouldn't fit down the drain
The words read I needed help
But it wouldn't leave my brain
And so I sit here in this room
When the lights have all burnt out
Yet I never knew what hit me
And I'll never figure it out

I wrote you a message in a bottle
But the bottle cracked in the sink
The words have all leaked out
And now I don't know what to think
And so I sit here in this room
When the lights have all burnt out
The doors are all padlocked
And there's no one else around

I will get up from this chair
If it means my life
I will end this in despair
If it keeps me alive

I wrote you a message in a bottle
But I threw it off the roof
And now the sidewalk has read it
And there is no longer proof
That I've been locked up in this room
When the lights have all burnt out
Still I never knew what hit me
And I'll never figure it out

I will get up from this chair
If it means my life
I will end this in despair
If it keeps me alive
I will break apart these chains
If I must to survive
The only way I will remain here
Is if I'm struck down, burned alive

I think I might change the chorus and make the irony kinda flow more.
Guitars:
Fender Standard Strat
Fender Deluxe Active Jazz Bass
Martin DX1

Amps:
Peavey Classic 50/212

Pedal Board:
Gator 8-Bus
Boss TU-2 Tuner
Digitech Bad Monkey
Ibanez CF7 Chorus/Flanger
ISP Decimator
Dual button footswitch
#2
wow, that's one of the best things I've read. I don't really like the third verse because it doesn't seem to flow as well as the rest of the song, but overall you had great rhymes, great choice of words, and great flow. 10 out of 10.
B.C. RICH
#3
Thanks alot dude, I'll work on that verse.
Guitars:
Fender Standard Strat
Fender Deluxe Active Jazz Bass
Martin DX1

Amps:
Peavey Classic 50/212

Pedal Board:
Gator 8-Bus
Boss TU-2 Tuner
Digitech Bad Monkey
Ibanez CF7 Chorus/Flanger
ISP Decimator
Dual button footswitch
#4
bump
Guitars:
Fender Standard Strat
Fender Deluxe Active Jazz Bass
Martin DX1

Amps:
Peavey Classic 50/212

Pedal Board:
Gator 8-Bus
Boss TU-2 Tuner
Digitech Bad Monkey
Ibanez CF7 Chorus/Flanger
ISP Decimator
Dual button footswitch