#1
Verse 1
I?m lying awake tonight
lyin? in my bed
I just can?t close my eyes
thoughts runnin? through my head
I recall things I?ve said
and things that I have done
things that I regret now
lies that I have spun

Chorus
?Cause I can?t sleep these days
these thoughts won?t go away
I know its clear to see
they wont stop haunting me
If I could just close my eyes
until the morning skies
I think I?d be alright
I think I?d be just fine

Verse 2
I?m lyin? awake tonight
lyin in my bed
I just can?t close my eyes
thoughts runnin? through my head
I want to figure out
what I?ve done wrong
to suffer this burden
for so so long

Chorus
?Cause I can?t sleep these days
these thoughts won?t go away
I know its clear to see
they wont stop haunting me
If I could just close my eyes
until the morning skies
I think I?d be alright
I think I?d be just fine
Last edited by ch715dallat at Jun 18, 2006,
#4
Wai...this describes my current situation...so yeah me likey.
It's not something special...but nice.
Eventhough the verses are practically the same I like the use of repeat...especially in a song about pondering during your sleep.
On the sixth day God created mankind, I say it is a waste of time.
My project: _simple_city
#5
Like I said in the last one, i like the simple structure you have that so many people struggle to write. I like the last lines of the chorus, from closing your eyes to the end.
#6
thanks man, but im struggling to write the music for it, i have a rythm for singing it, but any guitar i try it just doesnt seem to fit, i think ill just start from scratch again and try some new riffs and that, lol
#7
sometimes the best way for me to get music, is to completely forget about the song for a week or so, sometimes not even play guitar for a while
#8
thanks for the crit on my song.

ok this is good and has a really nice flow to it. when you figure out what music you're gonna play to it, put up a recording. 9/10.
B.C. RICH
#11
It gives me more of the Flaw feeling actually, not too bad. 6
Crit 4 Crit:
Melodic Death--Broken Mortal
Melodic Death--Lost in the Wind
Thrash--Inner Demons

Quote by societies_worm
the sad thing is not only is this guy a dumbass, but he is going to get more replies than i ever have, but thats is funny too
#13
who are the FLAW or FLAW FEELING, i havent heard of them so im not sure whether its what i was going for or if thats a compliment, lol
#14
Flaw was a........hard rock I guess. Download the song "Whole" and/or "My Letter". Hard rock isn't entirely my fave genre, but I did like Flaw a lot (it was a compliment, lol)
Crit 4 Crit:
Melodic Death--Broken Mortal
Melodic Death--Lost in the Wind
Thrash--Inner Demons

Quote by societies_worm
the sad thing is not only is this guy a dumbass, but he is going to get more replies than i ever have, but thats is funny too
#15
Well, i like this song, but it seems a little cliche and predictable to me, like i knew the next line before i read it. but its catchy, and has a good flow 7/10
#16
i really really enjoyed that actually. im nt sure how you would play it but i would suggest a pop-punk style with bright, cutting guitar sounds. then again thats just me. maybe a bit predictable but sometimes you just want a song like that because it will just roll of the tongue. id giv it 8.5/10
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