#1
The page is blank, the chapter is new,
Why am I still wasting time writing about you
Why does fate and everything we never had,
Run through my mind and refuse to fade.
When it comes down to the past,
When it comes down to you.
When it?s up to my future,
We?ve never been more through.
I?ll let love say its goodbyes,
What you left can?t take any more of your lies.
You wrote the end,
To every broken hearted song I never wanted to start.
You write the beginning,
To the regular breathing and fast beating of my heart.
Cause when I?m looking straight,
He?s all I see.
And when I?m looking back,
We were never meant to be.
The past is proof,
I couldn?t have been more wrong about you and me.
And if you ever loved me,
You would?ve cared.
Convenient times don?t make the count,
The definition that starts in ?L? and ends in ?E? doesn?t include ?use me?
Devoted is always, not a sometimes thing,
Your devotion was in my pain.
His always,
Is in my smile.
And when his hands put together,
The puzzle you ripped apart.
It?s your fault,
You gave us our poster-perfect start.
I won?t remind you of every day,
I stayed stuck on your eyes.
Cause you don?t remind me,
Of the sky or the ocean.
You make blue nothing short of shallow.
So thanks, thanks for being everything I hate,
Thanks for showing me you?re not all I am.
Thanks for wanting me when I?m long gone.
Thanks for giving the stars a reason to shine,
And thanks for letting me count every one in his eyes.
I gave you what I could
You gave me a year in hell and a life time in love. .
He?s amazing, just so you know
#2
brilliant song. probably the best ive read on these forums (though i havent read many so no-one take offence).

Your description of your feelings is brilliant, particularly:

The definition that starts in ?L? and ends in ?E? doesn?t include ?use me?
Devoted is always, not a sometimes thing,
Your devotion was in my pain.


The part in bold I REALLY liked - thats inspiring stuff! But the best part of the song is that it sounds really genuine and straight from the heart. maybe its just cos i can relate (replace the "hims" with "her's" tho!)

anyhow great song - 9/10!!!
Last edited by audio trousers at Jun 18, 2006,
#3
mmm, i agree with the guy above, he made the points i would have said. I like the beggining part of the song, it's what captured me, and forced me to read on, and with every line, it grew stronger. I also like the title, it's meaningful to the lyrics. I also think it deserves a 9 out of 10!

crit for crit? It's nothing near as good as yours, but id like your opinion, link is in my sig.
"If you want beef, then bring the ruckus." - Marilyn Monroe
#4
Very good. That is a very well written song. I will have to say that you trailed off at the end. I liked the imagery alot. I'm going to give it a 9 out of 10.
I'm Trapped In A Glass Case...of Emotion
#5
good job, makes me hate the person who caused that kind of pain
I didn't mean to take up all your sweet time,
I'll give it right back to you one of these days.