#1
Okay thats not the real name. I just did not want to put untitled up there. CRIT $ CRIT.

(verse)
Even if your right
Why can?t we just do it my way
I am just pissing my life away
If you don?t like it close your eyes
But try to listen to what I say

(bridge)
In death, I found life
In black, I found white
I may be wrong, but I feel right

(chorus)
With my god, I am going to hell
With my savior, I get no help
In my cage, I found escape
Only thing right, was a mistake

(verse)
It happened every night
Why should it stop today
I still sleep with a night light
And I still get very afraid


(bridge)
In death, I found life
In black, I found white
I may be wrong, but I feel right

(chorus)
With my god, I am going to hell
With my savior, I get no help
In my cage, I found escape
Only thing right, was a mistake
Last edited by guitar? at Jun 19, 2006,
#3
solid song, but the last line in the bridge souns a little funny to me...maybe its just me though...ya, thats probably more correct. :p

over all good work bud
#4
I like it overall. but the chorus is not that great. I don't know why, just doesn't sound right. 7.5/10
B.C. RICH
#5
9/10 I liked the Bridge and the chours the best but it was all overall good, it was just the first verse wasnt as good as the rest, IMO.
"Imagine all the people, sharing all the world"
-John Lennon
#7
I really like it. 8.5/10

I liked the bridge and the chorus the most.
Everything is pretty solid except for the first verse.
#9
Very good song there, I hope you intend it to sound Ironicly upbeat because thats how I've been singing it in my head .
#21 OF THE NON-CONFORMIST CLUB
#10
hm, i must say, i like the song, however, the title , i love myself and i want to live is a reversal of the nirvana song i hate myself and i want to die. but i liked that
#12
Its not bad, some things i didnt like (song-flow)

(verse1)
Even if your right

Why can?t we just do it my way
I am just pissing my life away


Whats the purpose of the 2x just? its there, but has no real purpose hehe if you know what i mean, gets the flow a bit off here

If you don?t like it close your eyes
But try to listen to what I say


just an example there, you do use alot of "I's" as in refering to yourself in you're lyrics, i would scrap most of them and only use them were it has to be obvius you're talking about yourself, or if its needed for song-flow...

It would also help if i knew what kind of genre you're aiming at?


Heres my latest creation hehe:
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=380724
#13
I am probably going to get rid of the first "just". Don't worry about the rest of the flow, it may not look right on paper, but it sounds good. Oh and the genre is hard rock,grunge maybe, I do not know. I will get to your song soon.
#14
I think it's pretty cool. But it seems kinda short. Otherwise, it's cool. 6/10.

"I'm just pissing my life away"

^ LOVE THAT LINE.
Quote by forty-six_and_2
Whoa I just had a revelation: What if god is a dog?A big white fluffy dog that drools a lot and pees on random people and humps strangers' legs?
Quote by 0fishaleded
Wait..if someone owns a dog that does that..WTF
Quote by forty-six_and_2
Than...they own god! That's it. I'm getting a dog.