#1
(I can't quite tell if this is cliche or not, so if you have any criticism i'd love to hear it. Oh, and ps- if you don't quite get this and you need some explanation just lemme know.)


Hey 16,
But just for today
Hey gorgeous,
Stunning me with the words you say
The taste of you,
Has stuck with me this far
The breath of you,
Has held me on the wings of this star
I?d kill for the crooked smile you send my way,
And how your eyes threw me off my feet
Because it?s you,
Falling has never been so sweet
And just like a rock,
Carving initials into a tree
Engraved together,
It?s you and me

Hey 16,
But just for today
Remind me,
Just how sweet it can be
The last dance,
All eyes on you and me
Hey 16,
But just for today
Make a wish for us,
When the candles fade away
Wish to freeze our right now
Make forever like today


Hey 16,
Give the stars one last kiss for you and me
Just like me for you,
They?re all falling away
This is me wishing you had flaws,
Perfect is a heartbreak waiting to happen
When less than A-mazing is all I am,
The only gift I have to give is my heart on your sleeve


Hey 16,
But just for today
Remind me,
Just how sweet it can be
The last dance,
All eyes on you and me
Hey 16,
But just for today
Make a wish for us,
When the candles fade away
Wish to freeze our right now,
Live forever like today
Last edited by onecheck1love at Jun 19, 2006,
#2
Is this about faking your age??? i dont know but thats the image i got anyway!! theres nothing really to crit here... you have some really nice sentences in amongst here, but then you have some really plain ones that just let you down... but overall not a bad job looking at the whole picture.... 7/10...
Quote by Lord_Of_Dance.

I never understood why a girl would take a boner as a bad thing "Oh no, your attracted to me, you sick wanker." :\ x


Quote by Nelsean
Im saying this the straightest way possible, but...

I'd have sexual intercourse with your anus.
#3
it's not about faking your age.. my boyfriend's birthday is tomorrow and he's turning 17. It's about him going on with his life and him getting older and going away to college next year and all that, while i'm still stuck at 16 with 2 more years of school to go.. lol, if that makes any sense..