#1
Here is a little song I wrote, just thought I'd share it with you.

All That Was Left

Never knew I wasn't real, till I looked in the mirror
Never knew I could break the seal, till my ears came to your sound
Took a look around the world, every taste was bitter
See the dissapearing crowd, now there's no one else around
I've been searching, searching for the answers
Theres no reason for me to fall back down
and I've been waiting, waiting for the Shelters
Of the safe world, where everyone's around

I'm Dying to see your Iluminating face
I'm Crying for the sacred grace
I'm Dying to catch my final breath
I'm Putting, together what is left

and It's so hard... It's so far.... Im all alone... searching for home

Never knew that I could fly, till I used the other side
Never knew I was asleep, till I saw this was a dream
Im searching for my other half, but I know it's trying to hide
It's so scared to let go, of a world that's as fake as it seems
And I've been searching, searching for myself
And there is something, something I can't tell
and I know the secrets, of the old books on the shelf
What If I fell.....

I'm Dying to see your Iluminating face
I'm Crying for the sacred grace
I'm Dying to catch my final breath
I'm Putting, together what is left

and It's so hard... It's so far.... Im all alone... searching for home... I'm finding home... I've found my home

I'm now alive, I'm one with you
and I've got your sacred grace
Alive, holding my last breath
I've gathered.. all that was left.....

all that was left.....

all that was.......... left
#2
I rather enjoy this piece.

Your refrain portion flows nicely, and lines like [never knew I was asleep, till I saw this was a dream] help to paint nice pictures.

As far as constructive criticism goes, (as I am interpreting it) there seems to be a flow issue around halfway through the second verse. Perhaps I'm merely misinterpreting it, though.

All in all, it was enjoyable.
#4
Thanks for the comments guys. I do quite understand what you mean by the flow being a little disrupted in the second verse, however it is impossible for me to really explain how the flow to it is with words, the way it is done is a bit weird making it sound weird, but good observation. Thanks again

==Mike==
#5
this song you wrote is a very very superior song you wrote and i do to hear the music playing in my head, but i could kind of feel what you were trying to say when i was reading the lyrics and i have full respect for that :P
"It is better to burn out then to fade away"-Kurt Cobain

"Keep you friends close, but your enemies closer"-The GodFather Part III

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?^? ?(?¿?)? ?^?...put this guy in your sig