#1
I had a pretty straightforward saves the day- through being cool feel for this song.
fast guitars and such

Take a walk to that pinacle point of my mind,
But wait right there cus i've got to set these explosives off on time.
And i'll sit back and watch you fall.

Here I am carving out that priceless face in stone.
With the message that read lay still you beloved bastard baby girl.
And i'll dig you a grave fit for a queen like you.
While a million eyes are watching you hit rock bottom.

Look deep into the sun and close your eyes,
Watch as I take over your mind.
The wires have frayed and engine has failed.
Remember quality wins over quanity

Hell came around and knocked down my door.
Burned down this life right too the floor.
Crawl for some help but don't let them know.
That your weak enough to have to rely on someone else.

Tonight, I'm ganna dig up your bones
And arrange them in such a manner
That people will be scratching their heads
And wondering who would be this twisted
Be this sick.
#2
Nice title but I won't offer you a crit because you deceived me. I only came because I like Star Wars.
#7
Okay, so i'm the first person to crit the song, spammers! Found myself relating to this one without actually managing to understand it, but i do like the terminology used and just one flaw really, to get a good sense for the flow of it, it's gotta have a consistent ryhme scheme, besides that sweet touch.

Please crit my song 'EVeryone has a story to tell'
#8
I really like it. It's quite good, and I love your way or writing it, seriously. Especially the ''Here I am carving out that priceless'' etc. verse does it for me.

9/10.

Crit mine? Click Sarcophagus in my sig (Latest one, fresh from the keyboard ) to read it.
When I heard smoking would kill me, I bought shares in Dunhill and Marlboro - Thomas Geraghty

If we don't change it, nothing will fucking change.
#9
The fact that this isn't about Star Wars angers me.


Anyhow, it's not bad. Good flow of words.