#1
Crit for Crit.. !!

Normal Man obeyed the system
Just like how nature obeys gravity
It was just the way things were

One day he looked up to the sky
and said I think I?ve lost my sanity
(but it?s hard to know for sure)


Chorus
It's not the answer!
it's just the modern scene
you can find a good example
written in the pages of a magazine
There is no progress!
there's only the change of tide
you can follow it all your life
but there comes a day you have to step outside!


Normal Man could not take control
There was something wrong with the formality
of 10,000 locked up doors

He looked for another path to
Get away from all of the normality
In an attempt to find a cure

Chorus2
It?s not the answer!
It?s just the modern scene
And if you need reminded
Take a good look from the back of my limozeen
There is no progress!
there's only the change of tide
you can follow it all your life
but there comes a day you have to step outside!

(There is a third part of the song that I have not written lyrics for here. Any suggestions on what it should be about are welcome)

Chorus3
It is a disease!
And there is no vaccine
And if you?ll get some matches
I?ll be sure to bring the gasoline
There is no progress!
there's only the change of tide
you can follow it all your life
but there comes a day you have to step outside!

It may not seem to flow very well by itself, but as i wrote the lyrics after the music, it does, in fact, follow smoothly with the actual song.
#2
um.... i sense of lot of politics and conformity in this song. good, maybe try not to 'make' words rhyme, just let them flow freely
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#3
yeah this is my first attempt at writing lyrics. i have five more songs i still need lyrics to, hopefully theyll get progressivley better... i could use a few more crits on this one though if anyone wants to take the time.
I've seen emo-er.


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