#1
Ok this is my new song called "Come Clean"...I wrote this during a transitional part of my life when I gave up a bunch of bad habits I had in order to live a more fulfilling life...I've never regreted my decision for a minute...leave me a link and I'll crit your's as soon as possible.

"Come Clean"

My life is like a jail cell
I always get what I deserve
Everytime I try to love you
The pain only gets worse
I've tried to cover up my mistakes
All my bad decisions in the past
Now I'm holding on to my last reason
But its so hard to grasp

The way you smile, the way you laugh
The way you lie awake at night
Sleeping alone and by yourself
Thinking, "I hope this turns out right."
If I could, you know I would
Wipe the water from your eyes
And if I could, you know I would
Give this all another try

I might as well come clean
Wash my hands and change my scene
Take back words I didn't mean
Cover up all the obscene
I might as well come clean
Cut my hair and change my jeans
Cry those tears you should've seen
Take back all I didn't mean

I've always kept this bottled up
Now my heart is about to burst
And I only wish that you could see
Just how much this hurts
I've given up and been knocked down
I've sat alone and cried
Now I think its time to tell you
Just how I feel inside

I might as well come clean
Wash my hands and change my scene
Take back words I didn't mean
Cover up all the obscene
I might as well come clean
Cut my hair and change my jeans
Cry those tears you should've seen
Take back all I didn't mean

Hold my hand another minute
Before I have to go
And promise me that no matter what
You'll make it to the show
I'm trying to take back all the past
All the things I've said and done
'Cause now I know that they weren't right
(But oh, how they were fun)

But I'm better off without them
Like a bird without its wings
Its hard to try to fly and soar
When you regret everything
So I guess this is "I'm sorry."
'Cause I don't know what else to say
And if you had just half a heart
You'll make this go away

I might as well come clean
Wash my hands and change my scene
Take back words I didn't mean
Cover up all the obscene
I might as well come clean
Cut my hair and change my jeans
Cry those tears you should've seen
Take back all I didn't mean

-Matt Daly

if you liked this song please check out my other one called "Innocent"

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=358291&highlight=innocent
"Peace, Love, and Stadium Arcadium"
#2
Quite good, personally I liked it

!!!feel the funk blast!!!

STAND UP FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN
#4
flowed really nicely i liked it alot. I have nothing bad to say about this, it seems very professional.
I've seen emo-er.


Member of the "I am a Fan of Gaycore Wrestle-Metal" Fanclub.
#5
Very nice, even if you did have the same title as one of my own personal works

To me, it seemed quite oasisy, especially what I see as the chorus. It flowed nicely, the rhyming was kept pretty nice throughout, and I thought that it was written very well.

But I'm better off without them
Like a bird without its wings
Its hard to try to fly and soar
When you regret everything
So I guess this is "I'm sorry."
'Cause I don't know what else to say
And if you had just half a heart
You'll make this go away


I probably thought that this was the poorest stanza, I didn't think much of the "eveything" rhyme. I just thought that it was the weakest part.

But, overall, nice stuff, you've got a tidy piece here, congrats. 8/10, keep up the good work

Crit Here? Many thanks.
Last edited by Jammydude44 at Jun 21, 2006,