#1
How does it feel
To be without a shoulder to rest on
And no one to catch your tears

No time for rest now
As your mind goes blank
Lost in the confusion within

Now your hearbeat goes faster................
Blood turning colder...............................
Your Stomache in knots........................Chorus
As you spiral down................................
And hit the floor now..............................

Seems as if you're hearing things
Seeing shadows from the corner of your eye
You wanted to fit in
But now you just want to die

Stereotypes are negative
Friends are now just passer-bys
Their looks feel so deceiving
And you have no idea why

(Chorus)

Betrayed by your own instincts
As if evolution will never occur
Now faith isn't working
And you'll be wiped off this earth

(Chorus)
#3
one thing that i notice with a lot of people trying to write songs
there is absolutely no focus
i mean, try to name your song anything but something terribly vague like "sadness"
otherwise, hey write what you feel, but you wont impress to many people
yeah
#5
Quote by twittch
emo


You are worthless.

I liked the song actually. I don't really want to give a sentence by sentence crit because I don't feel like I am qualified. What type of song do you want it to be? A sad slower type song or a faster one?
#6
Quote by twittch
emo


As much as I dislike emo, it's not emo. He doesn't talk about how much his life sucks or wants to kill himself or how he misses his girlfriend, etc.

By the way, to the threadstarter, it's 'passersby' not 'passerbys'.
#7
Quote by myvaliantleap
You are worthless.

I liked the song actually. I don't really want to give a sentence by sentence crit because I don't feel like I am qualified. What type of song do you want it to be? A sad slower type song or a faster one?



emo is a lyrical style you stupid ****, not an insult
Quote by Doolittle
Do it for Hedwig!
#8
Quote by twittch
emo is a lyrical style you stupid ****, not an insult


You used it in a durogotory way. You also didn't crit at all. You didn't ask any question, therefore your post was worthless.