#1
my house is a mess, and so am i. i havn't showered in three days there's something in my eye. just lay here on my couch and watch my tv screen. there's nothing on it, that black screen stares back at me. the only thing i like to feel underneath my feet, is that smooth soft feeling of some fresh lanolium. open the fridge door and take a look inside. can't find what i'm looking for, just close it soft and fall back to my bed.

(chorus)
cause i've slipped into apathy, there's nothing here to motivate me to get up on my feet, or to care about anything. my only energy's to sleep, so i'll just hide underneith my sheets. close the blinds so tight that i can't see the summer sky.

the world outside is falling apart. but, if i don't pay attention, if i don't care at all, it won't effect me, cause ignorance is bliss. it's a feeling that i like, not knowing what exists. the cartoon man can entertain me. i don't watch the news it's to depressing. i'd share my thoughts about the world, but, my attention span is short and i don't have that kind of time

(chorus)

called apathy is fun. with acoustic guitar and harmonica and such.
#5
except for it being an upbeat folk song... i guess it's kinda emo... but i'm gonna disagree here.

actually, just read it over... never really thought about it. i can now see how you would get that... but it's played at around 200 beats per minute... i see it more with humor than complaining... but some things are just funny in my head... as apposed to.. actually.
Last edited by The Wonder Boy at Jun 23, 2006,
#6
my house is a mess, and so am i. i havn't showered in three days there's something in my eye. just lay here on my couch and watch my tv screen. there's nothing on it, that black screen stares back at me. the only thing i like to feel underneath my feet, is that smooth soft feeling of some fresh lanolium. open the fridge door and take a look inside. can't find what i'm looking for, just close it soft and fall back to my bed.
i dont like the repitition of "screen" in the 2nd line, sounds very weak. apart from that though this opening is perfect. i love this style and it works really effectively here.

(chorus)
cause i've slipped into apathy, there's nothing here to motivate me to get up on my feet, or to care about anything. my only energy's to sleep, so i'll just hide underneith my sheets. close the blinds so tight that i can't see the summer sky.

this also sounds really great. nothnig to crit about it, except a tiny thing for the veyr last sentence, personally i'd put summat like "please close the blinds etc" but that's no big deal, and of course tis up to you. good chorus.

the world outside is falling apart. but, if i don't pay attention, if i don't care at all, it won't effect me, cause ignorance is bliss. it's a feeling that i like, not knowing what exists. the cartoon man can entertain me. i don't watch the news it's to depressing. i'd share my thoughts about the world, but, my attention span is short and i don't have that kind of time

i freaking love the bit with "ignorance is bliss. it's a feeling that i like, not knowing what exists". that rhyming is just... amazing. it sounds so incredible.

i really like the ending ideas to this stanza, nice little philosphical twist, but IMO it sounds a bit hasty, i think this would work a lot better if you added a few more sentences or whatever in to explain more. i know the wya you have it kinda goes with the "short attention span" you mentioned, but it just sounds too rushed IMO.

great work ehre man, i really enjoyed reading that, and i like your style a lot
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#7
i ever really noticed the repeat of screen... thanks for that. the 2nd verse is my favorite (besides the chorus), and i like the added please. the ending line is rushed intentionally. i sing it out of time from the song, good catch. thanks for the response.