#1
This song is really about a kid invovled in a subculture of some kind, but it sounds like it is about a war vetern. Just a little twist I like about it.


The Fallen Soldier
Hollow footsteps on baren ground
Ghosts from memories long lost
A killer raped of all dignaty
Choices had their cost

I walked the streets without fear
Incighting riots, my choosen career
My mind had taken over, heart was shut down
Slowly my friends were hung and drowned
By the political scum, controling the earth
Our little counter-culture's meager worth
Can you feel it? My world falling apart
My little attempt, my shot in the dark

Chorus:
The streets seemed to be tinted in red
The only place for me to lay my head
Branded by scars and a cigarrette holder
To tell the tale of the fallen soldier

Blistering days and restless nights
All leading up to one short fight
A day went down in history
Griffiti says "For KT"
I lost my hope, my anger and strife
My family left me to die that night
An animal trapped in a cage
Sadated for my pain and rage

(Chorus)

The steps I took echo deliquency
But we were just a bunch of kids
Fighting for our right to be free
And that is out true sin
To stand against and disobey
The words that were being spoken
A soldier died that day
Anothe badge of honor, broken.


It sounds really good on the recording, it's kind of my bands claim to fame song. But there are some parts that bother me, do you all agree? If so, any ideas for tweaking it without changing it greatly, because it's made us popular as local band.
Originally Posted by Lemoninfluence
he shoved a pole up the lads arse.

he didn't bumshag him.
#2
its a great song, the one part i felt was off and i dont know why is the third line in the chorus, what if you say "branded by scars that make me look older (or bolder?)... if not, what you already have is good, the rest of it is perfect
#3
that is a very superior song, when i was reading the lyrics i could really here the song playing in my head. vary nice job
"It is better to burn out then to fade away"-Kurt Cobain

"Keep you friends close, but your enemies closer"-The GodFather Part III

? W T F ?
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")

?^? ?(?¿?)? ?^?...put this guy in your sig
#4
Quote by AmplifySilence
its a great song, the one part i felt was off and i dont know why is the third line in the chorus, what if you say "branded by scars that make me look older (or bolder?)... if not, what you already have is good, the rest of it is perfect

That's a good idea. I like that a lot. I'll talk it over with my other guitar player, see what he thinks.
Originally Posted by Lemoninfluence
he shoved a pole up the lads arse.

he didn't bumshag him.
#5
I think this song is good. Like the other guy I can see how you might play this. What genre did you write it for Blues, Rock, Punk etc. because it could be interpreted in several different ways. It's so whats the word, diverse or different lol. Good work though.
#6
Quote by rancidrocker
That's a good idea. I like that a lot. I'll talk it over with my other guitar player, see what he thinks.


My suggestion for that is bolder.

I liked the song, especially the chorus. Damn good.
Crit 4 Crit:
Melodic Death--Broken Mortal
Melodic Death--Lost in the Wind
Thrash--Inner Demons

Quote by societies_worm
the sad thing is not only is this guy a dumbass, but he is going to get more replies than i ever have, but thats is funny too
#7
i was very impressed with the ability to maintain such a fantastic tone and atmosphere throughout. very solid writing indeed. i really enjoyed reading this. the bit i particularly liked was:

Can you feel it? My world falling apart
My little attempt, my shot in the dark


sounds really good, and that's the kinda thing that makes a great song man. awesome job here
Quote by Kensai
Maybe you've heard what the ladies say: "Once you go 77mm you don't go back"
#9
Quote by J_J_Kool
I think this song is good. Like the other guy I can see how you might play this. What genre did you write it for Blues, Rock, Punk etc. because it could be interpreted in several different ways. It's so whats the word, diverse or different lol. Good work though.

It's like Alt/Punk. My band sounds like a mix between Rancid (basslines), Blink-182 (drums) and Avenged Sevenfold (guitars and vocals). I dunno all together we sound kindda Alkaline Trio with better guitars.
Originally Posted by Lemoninfluence
he shoved a pole up the lads arse.

he didn't bumshag him.
#11
i heard the recording to this song. the lyrics are amazing. but i have something to say about the song. over all it was great, but the recording quality wasnt that good. but the transitions between chorus and verse and etc. were a little delayed ( i dunno if thats how it should be). was this live or done in a studio?
#12
well, the lyrics are stunning. just awesome. i really like how it can be related to war veteran or subculture kid. can't think of anything to change though, maybe just work on spelling lol. i think i might just have to download the song, which you should be proud of because i have dial-up and it says it'll take an hour to download..and yet i'm putting up with it!
#13
Sweet song


PS delete some messages. You have a full inbox so I can't PM you delete some and I'll PM
#2 member of the Bill and Ted fan club

"There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It lies between the pit of man's fears, and the summit of his knowledge. It is an area which we call ... THE TWILIGHT ZONE."