#1
Another song meh it's ok nothing great just want some crit i'll crit your's too if you want.

Stalk and let cower

I met you once in the dark
I didn't want you to foget me
So I left my kitsch* clothes
And had to come right back

But when I came back again
You'd thrown them out
And alas I was forgotten about
I guess I will have to try again

Remember me as one
who never liked to have fun
But I still want you
never knew you wanted me too

I appearedd in the sun
Brandishing a code duello gun
Just to spark a recollection
of our sacred interaction

Remember me as one
who never liked to have fun
But I still want you
never knew you wanted me too

This time I have it now
I'll try and phone
I thought I wouldnt't be alone
But you weren't home

Remember me as one
who never liked to have fun
But I still want you
never knew you wanted me too

Oh well 500 yards isn't far
I won't even need my car
And god knows i'll be arrested now
But I will keep trying as it's you


* not sure about this word in the line
Last edited by mmm... ice at Jun 23, 2006,
#2
Got me a lil confused how ever "I appearedd in the sun
Brandishing a code duello gun
Just to spark a recollection
of our sacred interaction" kinda got my attention and opened up to me what this poem was about
i'd give it 8/10
#3
The lyrics are about finding someone who you want to be with or love then doing anything to get them to recognise you or remember you.

Thanks for the comments though

EDIT: Are you american? Because if you are the Sun is a British tabloid paper.
#4
I like some of the rhyming in this, and there's some good word choice too - I particularly like
"I appearedd in the sun
Brandishing a code duello gun
Just to spark a recollection
of our sacred interaction"