#1
haven't written a song in a while. this one is a complpetely new style for me, tell me what you think.

The Scene


as i look out beyond the shadows that have been cast
making the scene appear to be black and white and grey,
i notice the leaf, once full and healthy now weak and withering,
fall to the pressure of gravity, pulling its weight onto itself
until its had too much and its old shriveling body floats serenely towards the earth.
it does not land in the dirt to be trampled under the passers by,

but is taken away in the wind,
but it is taken away with the wind.

now the scene comes back to me, full on color as it was meant to be.
my eyes move from the ground to your face, i am unsure as to how i should react.
waiting for some unseen being to pull my strings and help me make believe these feeling are real.
i can almost watch the thoughts pass through your mind,
your true feelings have been tracing themselves into the lines of your face.
the tears shed have dried before they even had a chance to settle in.

which only seems right seeing as your eyes have been dancing behind your lies,
even if you were to involved to notice.
after all, the world still doesn't know that the end is here.
but if everyone would step back and give this entire situation a real good one over,
maybe they could see how there's not much to fear.

a slow moving cloud waits
to either pour down in flood
or let the moon glow in all its brilliance.

my eyes move back to the ground
in hopes to project the feeling of sorrow or shame.

the end is here,
the end is here.

there's no where I'm trying to go,
but there's always somewhere I'm going.

the end is here,
the end is here.

i don't know where I'm going,
and i don't like what i've become.

a slow moving cloud waits
to either pour down in flood
or let the moon glow in all its brilliance.

the end is here,
and I'm taken away.
#2
i like this a lot man.

particularly how descriptive you are, it creates the image in your mind as you read.


nice job!
Member #57 of The Weezer Fan Club
#3
hey thanks, im pretty happy with how it came out. never tried this style of writing or creating. im glad someone likes it.
#4
no more? i am really interested in what some people think of this. please crit.
#5
Yeah dude it sounds reallly good. Record it, id love to here it with the full music and everything.

But yeah dude its great.
#8
Hey that is sooo good! I love the part where it says, "which only seems right seeing as your eyes have been dancing behind your lies,
even if you were to involved to notice.
after all, the world still doesn't know that the end is here.
but if everyone would step back and give this entire situation a real good one over,
maybe they could see how there's not much to fear."

I can so relate to that, keep doing what your doin' I love it!
#9
great, thanks a lot. i will definately try to write some more. im glad you liked it.
CAN I GET A +1?!
#10
the first large lump of it was a masterpiece. at first i was thinking oh god it is going to be some really trashing emo like lyrics haha, but woah i was wrong. nice job. i'm not sure how the parts where it is the one lie repeated twice is meant to go buti couldn't interperet it well onmy own. it kinda bailed from the flow of the slusters of lines to me, yet if it was screamed it might work... lol. but yeah, top stuff, wish i could write stuff like that
#11
you know, i wish i could too. i dont know how i wrote that, it just came out. i havent had any great or complete work since. thanks for the reply.
CAN I GET A +1?!
#12
Hey man, you are a true master but it was your first time you wrote somehting like it, you say. I totaly fell in love with those lyrics.

"my eyes move from the ground to your face, i am unsure as to how i should react.
waiting for some unseen being to pull my strings and help me make believe these feeling are real.
i can almost watch the thoughts pass through your mind"

Sweet, if you ever make music to it, you must PM me!!

Keep up the nice work