#1
it's basically about a prostitute who got raped, she escaped, then when she told the police they didnt believe her. and the guy got away with it. and this song will probly get flamed. its going into a concept album im working on

She Will Wash Away

(Verse)
Ever since she was 15 years old
She would wait out in the cold
For that car to pull up beside
And when she got home she cried
The little man, grabbed her hand
The look in his eyes, she could not stand

(Chorus)
He did the crime, but will never do the time
There is no salvation from her thoughts at all
She needs help before she slips and falls
She screamed HELP ME! In the dead of the night

(Verse)
He said she wanted more
But it wasn?t true she ran out the door
He ran up behind and pulled her back inside
In the night she screamed and cried
No one was there
To save her from despair

(Chorus)
He did the crime, but will never do the time
There is no salvation from her thoughts at all
She needs help before she slips and falls
She screamed RESCUE ME! In the dead of the night

(Verse or bridge)
She has lost her way
Every single day
She cries and she prays
But her mother won?t let her live it down
And I foresee that she will drown
In her tears, she will wash away
#2
Intersting subject.. Im reading this and i cant get a beat going...Maybe change the wording around.

For example:

"Ever since she was 15 years old
She would wait out in the cold"

I can not make this come together....
For that bit i would just eleminate "she would wait....."
#3
Quote by Ellron
Intersting subject.. Im reading this and i cant get a beat going...Maybe change the wording around.

For example:

"Ever since she was 15 years old
She would wait out in the cold"

I can not make this come together....
For that bit i would just eleminate "she would wait....."


lol if i did that it would take purpose away from the rest of the verse.
#4
Quote by Ellron
Intersting subject.. Im reading this and i cant get a beat going...Maybe change the wording around.

For example:

"Ever since she was 15 years old
She would wait out in the cold"

I can not make this come together....
For that bit i would just eleminate "she would wait....."


Oops wrong line i actually ment the line underneath that one.
That one can go.
#5
Quote by Ellron
Oops wrong line i actually ment the line underneath that one.
That one can go.

yeah i nkow what you meant. but look

Verse)
Ever since she was 15 years old
She would wait out in the cold
For that car to pull up beside
And when she got home she cried
The little man, grabbed her hand
The look in his eyes, she could not stand

it just works out. sorry if i'm being a little over defensive.
#6
I thought it was good but i didn't like the ryming in verse 1 how the lines rhyme one after the other (though I have no room to talk considering i do it constantly
#7
oh i forgot, sorry if the concept of this song is offensive. i just wrote about real life and this stuff happens. to all who bothered to read it, i hope you enjoyed it