#1
Okay, i wrote this song after a break-up (couldn't you tell?!) and it took like 3 weeks to come up with the second verse (that happens to me with so many songs..) I have an acoustic version of it on www.myspace.com/nathaniellocke. okay. read it up!

VERSE 1:
I have never felt so alone
As I do today
I try to dry my tears
But all they do is stay
I still can't comprehend
Why you think everything's okay
And why you seem to hate me
With every word you say
My only crime was loving you
Each and every day
Yet all you do is ridicule me
And those mind games you play
Only push me closer to the edge
And further and further away

CHORUS:
I messed up my one chance with you
And now I don't know what to do
This pain inside hurts so bad
And makes me feel so sad
I try to forget all we had
But I still end up in love with you

VERSE 2:
You betrayed me more than once
But I stood by with all my might
And now you say you never loved me
Even though you said it every night
On the phone and when we kissed
It all lit Love's light
And made my heart gleam inside
Whenever you and I would unite
I try to wipe the memories clean
But they never fade when you're in sight
My love for you will never be less
Than it is with these emotions I fight
With shining armor and a sword
I only wish I could've been your knight

CHORUS

BRIDGE:
My whole life fell apart
On the twenty-second of March
I shed my tears as I died
And tried with all my strength to hide
The feelings I still had for you
So maybe we could be friends anew
But nothing ever works for me
And because of this you'll never see
How much I truly love you

CHORUS
#2
its great it really is, its really straightforward too, but i think you should make it a bit more shorter, but other than that great.
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#3
hm, i think that some of the rhymes were used a little too much, but other than that it was good.
#4
thanks a lot. it was the first song i'd ever written, so that's why the ryhmes are used so much. i'll keep that in mind for future songs though.

P.S. the guitar on the recorded version pretty much sucks for variety...same 4 chords...over and over. i'm a drummer, so don't flame for mediocre guitar playing please!