#1
My last song didn't get anything. Lets not let that happen again

Burning red bridges.
Illuminating faces like twilight.
So often we?ve walked this road.
So often we use our exclusion against ourselves.
Somewhere where the people keep pace with themselves.
No one pushes, struggling to survive.
Perfect harmony.
Awoken by doves and the sound of birds in spring.
How long has it been since those birds came back?
How lonely must those branches be?
Without comfort they hang to the ground.
The weight of reality pulling them down.
And even though we walk alone
We tell ourselves it?s just temporary.
How could one feel so alone
In a crowd of thousands?
And all of this plays out
Like the back of my hand
How many more times?
Shut me out, cut me out.
And if ever You come near, I will hold up high a mirror.
Lord, I could never show you anything as beautiful as You.
Last edited by fenderfreak101 at Jun 25, 2006,
#2
Ok, I got to run out for a bit...so I will definitely get to this later.
On first glance, not so bad.

But, and I dont know if you know, but those last two lines are exactly from Keith Urban's "Tonight I Want To Cry," without the last line in that chorus.
Can You Fill In The Blanks?
#3
Quote by xArCaDiAx
Ok, I got to run out for a bit...so I will definitely get to this later.
On first glance, not so bad.

But, and I dont know if you know, but those last two lines are exactly from Keith Urban's "Tonight I Want To Cry," without the last line in that chorus.


damnit!

I knew I had heard those before. Every time I come up with something relativly clever, I find out it's already been used.
And if ever You come near, I will hold up high a mirror.
Lord, I could never show you anything as beautiful as You.
#4
Not too bad. I like your word usage, but its short. Plain and simple. That was really the only problem I had with it, otherwise its alright.
Crit 4 Crit:
Melodic Death--Broken Mortal
Melodic Death--Lost in the Wind
Thrash--Inner Demons

Quote by societies_worm
the sad thing is not only is this guy a dumbass, but he is going to get more replies than i ever have, but thats is funny too
#5
I changed up the last few lines, because I didn't want to look too stupid haha.
And if ever You come near, I will hold up high a mirror.
Lord, I could never show you anything as beautiful as You.
#6
Quote by xArCaDiAx
Ok, I got to run out for a bit...so I will definitely get to this later.
On first glance, not so bad.

But, and I dont know if you know, but those last two lines are exactly from Keith Urban's "Tonight I Want To Cry," without the last line in that chorus.


I changed those last lines, so if you could crit. it as is that'd be great
And if ever You come near, I will hold up high a mirror.
Lord, I could never show you anything as beautiful as You.