#1
?Broken Mortal?

Verse:
Fly towards me, let down your wings-
Save the torment life has caused me.
Wandering through an endless desert-
This has become my final hour.

Mindset of a broken mortal-
Feeling the pain now take control.
Let down your guard, I will not harm you-
I have become a broken mortal.

Chorus:
Lie down and think no more-
Let the wings of this angel fly.
Feel the pain of your life no longer-
Fly on the wings of the angel tonight.

Verse:
Breathing heavily, dying slowly-
Let life pass you by tonight.
The feeling of death now overflowing-
Please, no longer try to fight.

(Chorus)

Verse:
Life has finally come to an end-
As my body has lost all its breathe.
I have been cleansed, ?ridden? of sin-
Now I will fly with the angel of death.

(Picks up pace)
Fly on its wings as it climbs up higher-
Into the sky where I cannot see.
I have no fear; I have no pain-
By my own hands was my life set free.

(Chorus)

No longer will this man be alone-
The angel has taken him home.

-----------------
I didn't think it was all that bad, just wondering what others thought. I've been working on a melody for it and so far its been coming along pre good. Crit 4 a crit.
Crit 4 Crit:
Melodic Death--Broken Mortal
Melodic Death--Lost in the Wind
Thrash--Inner Demons

Quote by societies_worm
the sad thing is not only is this guy a dumbass, but he is going to get more replies than i ever have, but thats is funny too
Last edited by Peyote__Project at Jun 24, 2006,
#2
Yet again, great work. It flows nicely. I liked it. A lot.
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
#3
I like it a lot. Good job. It flows well, interesting lyrics and it isn't so predictable.
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#4
Thanks guys. Glad my works aren't going completely unnoticed and someone likes 'em. Someday these will get put down on record.
Crit 4 Crit:
Melodic Death--Broken Mortal
Melodic Death--Lost in the Wind
Thrash--Inner Demons

Quote by societies_worm
the sad thing is not only is this guy a dumbass, but he is going to get more replies than i ever have, but thats is funny too
#5
nt rlly my style. but nevertheless it had great flow and the lyrics, though not to my taste, were very good.
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