#1
Ah well, i've never written anything remotely serious before.
So please, be constructive. Keep in mind, that it may read wierd, or sound broken, but i know how i want it to sound, so it works for me. Suggestions on it are fine though.

Dream of me now
on the beach of an ocean
watching the sun set over and over again

And I'll dream of you
in the palm of my hand
watching the sun rise over and over again

And the tide'll come in
like perpetual motion
and the sun will draw it back out

Till it pulls it back in
and drags us both under
and slowly we'll both wash away

So think of me now,
on the beach of an ocean
watching the tides come in over and over again
Dream of me now
it's 3 oclock in the morning
I've got nothing to do
but wash away
#2
I feel obligated to respond, ya shredder.

I liked it, aside from the "over and over" thing in the beginning. You should sing this. . . with your guitar!
#4
I liked it. It didn't seem terribly broken to me. This would sound very good as an acoustic song (as you said in the post above this). I don't have to much to critique... It seemed very mellow and nice... yeah. This was simple, but still effective and good.

I'd really appreciate a crit, if you have the time: http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=382435
Dem Dry Bones
Current read: I Am America (And You Can Too) (Stephen Colbert)
Album of the Week: Four Thieves Gone (The Avett Brothers)
#5
I would agree the over and over bits do grate a tad....

Not an absoloute outstanding piece, but not a shocker- 6/10.

But, hey, if it works for you, fine. there's not really anything I can suggest, you seem happy with it, so good luck.

If you could drop a line or two here it'd be much appreciated. Many thanks.