#1
To be honest with you, I don't love this song of mine. That, though, is why it is on this site.

If anyone can give ANY insight on how to improve it, I'd really be grateful.

Vagabond Eyes

I look out from my window
Just to look into the street
With a vagabond?s wandering eye
We?ll see all that?s beneath the sky

There?s a man in a suit on the street corner
Who is reading the morning times
He?s running a race he cannot win
To lie and cheat for nickels and dimes
I would say that that?s a sin

There?s a girl standing on the sun-washed sidewalk
With more then her own fate to bear
People ?cross the street call her a sinner
As they brandish their books of prayer
How they expect to win her?

There?s a chance to change this turning world
As the businessman sees the girl cry
But a taxi stopped by, and he must go on
There?s so much to do before one dies
So much to do before the dawn

So much to do before the dawn
Shed a tear, wait a while
Carry on till the coming dawn

So the sun rises and then it falls again
Just another day in the spring
The city people walk in the streets
Without seeing or hearing anything
Far away, a mother weeps


Crit for crit
Dem Dry Bones
Current read: I Am America (And You Can Too) (Stephen Colbert)
Album of the Week: Four Thieves Gone (The Avett Brothers)
#2
alot of idiots will not know what a vagabond is, use a normal word

haha

joking, its not half bad dude its jus cause its your song u dont like it i always hate my own writing
#3
Hahah... I had to look up vagabond =P

But I do really like it...IMO it crticizes the world we live in today for being greedy and not having the time to care about one another.


So the sun rises and then it falls again
Just another day in the spring
The city people walk in the streets
Without seeing or hearing anything
Far away, a mother weeps


Here I like how it shows the inevitability of the events in the song due to our society and how it occurs every day.
Quote by Ross724
3.14 pie or the delicious crusted treat we all know and love?


Quote by MightyAl
Therefore your argument is rubbish, as well as being full of profanity and anti-Semitic. Are you Mel gibson, by any chance?