#1
more folk...

give me a book of matches. i'll start a fire, then sit back and read my book by it's glowing light. give me a can of gas, i'll throw it on some trailor trash, and let them fry all through the night. give me a car to drive, i'll sit here at this red light. but, my mind, it has already gone. i see somebody burnin' rubber, that **** smells worse than sulfer, but it is the smell of sweet serinity.

'cause i can't see, anything that's good. around these parts i am misunderstood. i can't see, nono, anything that's good, around here that would make me wanna turn my car around, nonono

give me a camera, so i can take some pictures of everything i plan to forget. get them developed, and i'll throw them in the trash when i get home. put them in there with: the garbage, some **** from my neighbors dog, and last weeks leftover chinese. looked them over for a minute, then threw in some carosene, lit a match, as i walked away.

'cause i can't see, anything that's good. around these parts i am misunderstood. i can't see, nono, anything that's good, around here that would make me wanna turn my car around, nonono.
#2
i like the verses, they're kind of clever
the chorus is alright. i think it could flow a little better but it might flow better if you've put it in a song already.
.....

#5
You have some clever ideas, and I guess this works well for it's genre. I would like to see you remove the cursing, because I think it is unnecesary for this piece. Also, I think you would benefit from some English lessons and punctuate your work properly, so that it's not just easier to read, but it makes it look of higher quality.

But yes, some nice twists in the verses, and a all round good piece for the style you went for.

If you could return, my latest is in my sig. Many thanks.
#6
like the verses, clever wording... i listened to it on the link you gave, and i like the song, althought i dont listen to that genre much... the repetetiveness in the first verse 'give me... etc.' opened the song nicely, but wouldve sounded naff in the second verse. you might want to put it into proper lines though, it makes it easier to read.