#1
So, yeah, this is the second track I'm ghostwriting for my buddies mixtape, I think this one came out better than the first one, the rhymes are better.

Yo when I touch this track, I'm spittin science, cold hard facts// White House don't pay attention to L.A., cause we all blacks// Like New Zealand, you feel it when I deal it, it's ruthless// But what these other ******s spittin' is truthless//You go on about drugs and the gang mentality// Nigga, you should be talkin' on police brutality//

Nigga can't you see that this crack is killin' us?// These police is killin' us// But back at home they feelin' us// Shoutout to all the dopeboys, put down your pagers// We need you now, the movement's here, the movement is major// It's time to stop looking upwards for a saviour// Ain't no white Jesus gon' do us no favours//

I ain't looking for a beat to dance to// A track to romance to// Just lookin for something to take a stance to// Man, we ain't been slaves since 1863// But when I look around, I see that we ain't free// We slaves to this white man's currency// The cars, the bling, the dope, it's hurtin' me//

Most cats just rhyme to get paid// rhyme to get laid// I'm tryin' to rhyme to get saved// It's most apparent, a change needs to be made// Mother Africa is suffering, infested with AIDs// Young blacks is stumbling, involved in the drug trade// So listen, what I'm spittin, cause I'm spittin for you// Us blacks work together, make this dream come true//

*Cuts the beat, a ca pella*

So that's why I say **** the President
It's most evident
We controlled by dead President's
I will not be a voiceless resident
Of this land where I'm not free
To be me, to speak freely
What I spit is relevant
All they afraid of is black's with intelligence


....yeah.


So that's the second one, I'll post the last one next week, but it's already done. Again no feedback about how rap sucks, because I don't care.

I think this one came about better because I wrote to a beat, and also when you comment, the last bit is a freestyle by yours truly and I would love to hear comments on it.

Oh, and if you leave me a link to your own piece, I'll gladly read it and give my two cents.
Comin' straight out of Compton, with a loose cannon. Smoke big green, call it Bruce Banner.

"Hey son, how many girls called you today? Zero? Oh and how about yesterday? Uh... Zero? Well son, you know what they say. Zero plus zero equals FAG."
Last edited by HelpImARock at Jun 25, 2006,
#2
to be honest i'm sick of songs about the government, and i'm really sick of how the minority groups play up how bad they have it... yea right... sure they've been oppressed in the past, but times are changing... in most cases minorities have more rights than the majority. What do you think would happen if a television network created a white entertainment channel? or what would happen if colleges had scholarships just for whites? I'm just sick of it really. Its not just the black/whit thing either though. feminists piss me off too. I do agree that there should be equal treatment for everyone, but a lot of the crap they come up with is ridiculous. Thats my two cents. I know you won't listen to a word i said and you'll probably bash me pretty bad. but thats ok. You're entitled to your opinion too. have a good day.
#3
Quote by Spank
to be honest i'm sick of songs about the government, and i'm really sick of how the minority groups play up how bad they have it... yea right... sure they've been oppressed in the past, but times are changing... in most cases minorities have more rights than the majority. What do you think would happen if a television network created a white entertainment channel? or what would happen if colleges had scholarships just for whites? I'm just sick of it really. Its not just the black/whit thing either though. feminists piss me off too. I do agree that there should be equal treatment for everyone, but a lot of the crap they come up with is ridiculous. Thats my two cents. I know you won't listen to a word i said and you'll probably bash me pretty bad. but thats ok. You're entitled to your opinion too. have a good day.



If your not a minority, than you have no idea what it is like to live like one and I'd appreciate if you would comment on the song, and not simply attack my views.
Comin' straight out of Compton, with a loose cannon. Smoke big green, call it Bruce Banner.

"Hey son, how many girls called you today? Zero? Oh and how about yesterday? Uh... Zero? Well son, you know what they say. Zero plus zero equals FAG."
#4
The song is made up of your views... if i don't agree with what a song is saying then i don't want to hear it, i don't care if it rhymes or is structurally sound. And who says I'm not a minority?
#5
The song is made up of your views... if i don't agree with what a song is saying then i don't want to hear it, i don't care if it rhymes or is structurally sound. And who says I'm not a minority?


If you don't want to hear it, and you don't care about the song itself, I'd appreciate it if you would please shut the **** up and not post in a thread where I'm looking for feedback to a song, not an attack on my ideals.
Comin' straight out of Compton, with a loose cannon. Smoke big green, call it Bruce Banner.

"Hey son, how many girls called you today? Zero? Oh and how about yesterday? Uh... Zero? Well son, you know what they say. Zero plus zero equals FAG."
#6
haha ok man, I'm not trying to piss you off so i'm gonna go shut the **** up as you say. A word of advice though, you might want to be careful when writing a song about a particular group banding together to "fight" the world. This makes you're audience limited to that group. Music is a beautiful thing, try not to limit it. This song might work as long as you've got a good mix, and a talented singer/rapper. I'm not really into rap, but thats ok. keep working it, and you're allowed to ignore ppl like me. peace