#1
Here are some songs that I started writing. Are they any good or should I stop writing them and start over?


It's my full-time avocation
Filling my thoughts with desperation
It's not just an aberration
Letting it go is my medication
_____

My life seeks abolishment
You could never see it's what I've always meant
My view of vitality's restricted
If I break it's your mistake
And you will be condemned by me
_____

Value without you
Too low to perceive
Fall as far as you can go
And see how much I grieve
The world means nothing to me
_____

Domination of the will to thrive
Pierce deep down to see why I'm alive
No explanation as to why I'm still here
I'm trying to hold on without leaving in fear
_____

All alone
On my own
In my own world I like to call home
No one's here
To help me out
To hear me scream
To hear me shout
I do not care anymore
Suicide's what I could go for
But for you I'll breathe one last breath
I'll try to stay here and do my best
_____

They plan for success
It's personal
Not for the public
See them go
They're all gonna fall
And we will rise
This is the mindset
That they despise
Striving in our fear
So we cant be heard
I can't understand
It's completely absurd
We should all go
And make them fall
'Cause if we dont stand
They'll get rid of us all
Our fear binds us
To the ground
If we dont stop it
We'll never be found
It's not like us
To live in fear
So let's get the hell
Out of here
If we wander around
For too long
This whole lifestyle
Will long be gone


I know the last one sucks, but that's because I wrote it really fast.


edit: here's another one of my songs that I found:

Global sadist threat
For fortune we will never see
We have to release
Or face the wrath of liberty
Something is not right
That should be seen apparently
We must overcome
Or fall sacrifice to governing
Last edited by 40ozcasualties1 at Jun 25, 2006,
#2
theyure pretty good...are they all oen song ? or are they like diefferent ones lol?

well the first 4 lines could use some editing....maybe its just my opinion, cuz i dont really like stanzas that have the exact same rhyme on every end word...

this is the kind i dont like..it shows less creativity:
A
A
A
A

try these ones:
A
A
A
A


A
B
A
B
Anyone play gunbound? then add johnny93


....you must tap into: THE FORCE!
....or: THE FORCE! will leave you
....then, you will no longer have: THE FORCE!
#3
They're all different songs. I don't really like the AAAA rhyme scheme either but I wanted to try something different. Thanks for the advice.
#4
you never wanna write a song that sounds like all other
depresion songs, but besides that they are pretty good.
Ninja Rosa

"just because my life sucks, doesnt mean I do"