#1
Hey guys, i wrote this ages ago and just revised it today, hope you enjoy
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Half-truths and Wordplays (Metaphors are overrated)

The first sound that lit my eyes tonight
The more perfect form of wonderment
Is fighting off the instruments that are drowning out the sounds
Of voices in the distance, while straining to be forward
I?m saying what I want to say
And thinking what I want to
But I?m missing something majorly
Maybe it?s passion? Maybe it?s just you?
Can I wish? The time is right
You told me that I had too
You told me I had to tell you
Exactly what I wished for
And so I threw around some sentences
And saw spiders dance suspended
From the ceiling, completely naked
But maybe they all faked it
And were really completely clothed
Wearing black of unknown design
What a crazy thing to think

In all my half-truths and wordplay
There?s a story for the masses
I?m singing away my soul now
And nothin? else here matters
You can boo and scream in bitterness
But I bet you?re all just jealous
Because I can show emotion and you can?t

The sound to brighten eyes and in the name it?s done
Well I?m writing about irrelevance
Maybe I should write in sentences
Turn a story from these words, but the story won?t make sense
But I?m running around, I?m infamy
Look again, and I?m still me
But in my mind I?m something different
In my mind I?m you
You say that lovers should be tied up
And drowned in all their ignorance
But that ignorance is innocence
Much better than benevolence
Through away your jealousness
Some people can?t see the world
And sometimes it is worrisome
But you?ve gotta let them go
Let them find

They?ll fall over on their own two feet
With no-one there to help them stand
Fighting fights like this everyday
No one can understand
But I?m picking up the pieces
That you left scattered everywhere
Like the machine gun bullet masterpiece
That made you feel so scared
That you ran and hid in sanctity
Behind covers made of cloth
Nothing?s gonna get you there
Invisibilities now your god

I?m fighting fire here with fire
Maybe a nuclear device
Metaphors are overrated
If you?d like my advice
But everything is useful
Though not all the time like now
It?s the be-all and the end-all
And the now
But you?re missing every word
I?m not sure if you heard
That the spider?s danced suspended
From the ceiling
While I was throwing about some sentences
In the form of half-truths and wordplay
And that?s almost everything I say
But you?ve got to notice with all the bull****
The lies that I?ve ****ed with
There?s nothing that I?m saying that?s not
A truth wrapped in lies
I could say I love you, you could say the same
For four months or more then we could play a game
You say, I say, but who said first?
Who cares most? Who cares lost?

Well I begin to wonder
If we had the old apartment
As an unused bank
For memories
But I understand that you just
Think it?s bland, I?m sitting right here
I can hear you
Well do you have unwanted memories?
To file away when necessary?
Maybe I should
Need Singing Advice?; Read the first page then ask questions.

Quote by punkman_123
Damn Auals, you're messed up. :P


Quote by ZanasCross
This just reminded me of the time that my brother in law texted his mom on the night after his wedding. All it said was "Consummated."
#2
Brilliant work, I really liked it, it's original, and it has it's own sort of.. attitude to it.

There were a few parts I thought were weaker :

They?ll fall over on their own two feet
With no-one there to help them stand


I thought those two lines were a bit cliche.. but, you did manage to add a bit more to it.. so I supppose they're alright to use.

Though not all the time like now
It?s the be-all and the end-all
And the now


I just felt that the flow stuttered a bit here, and I didn't like the be-all, end-all part, or the repeat of now.

There basically the only parts I had problems with. Really, really good stuff. 9/10.
#3
Thanks, i know the flow of this song seems really off but it's Bright Eyes style music, think Light Pollution meets Lets not sht ourselves and that's the music and it just works when sung over the top.

Thanks for your input.

Anymore?
Need Singing Advice?; Read the first page then ask questions.

Quote by punkman_123
Damn Auals, you're messed up. :P


Quote by ZanasCross
This just reminded me of the time that my brother in law texted his mom on the night after his wedding. All it said was "Consummated."