#1
It's all yours critters, c4c



One less vertebrae and my life would be fine.
I could bend over backwards, and manage my spine.
A love could grow like a beanstalk tree.
A love could grow between me and me.

Oh hot lips on my finger.
Oh hot lips found my friend.
They?d never met until today,
But now it?s hard to keep them away.

In for another quiet night alone.
In for another honeymoon moan.
In for another dribble round the post.
In for another one man show.

Now one less spine block has started the descent.
Of the mans world promised until the very end.
Now all the women have to dig for the gold.
Cause all the men are happy staying at home.

Oh hot lips on my finger.
Oh hot lips found my friend.
They?d never met until today.
Now its so hard to keep them away.

My money now goes further.
Now I?ve found a life without her.
And I?ve never been bored, since I bent for the sword.
And I?m pretty damn sure that I?m the thinking mans cure.

Oh hot lips on my finger.
Oh hot lips found my friend.
They?d never met until today.
Now its so hard to keep them away.

In for another quiet night alone.
In for another honeymoon moan.
In for another dribble round the post.
In for another one man show.
Last edited by Glenn James at Jun 30, 2006,
#2
I love the emotion behind this, the passion too lol. Awsome, I think the opening few verses are the strongest parts of the song and seems to trail off a bit. I absolutely LOVE the chorus thogh nice job man, 8/10
Songs working on :

Nitelife
#3
I liked this piece, I thought it was pretty well written and I like your flow/structuring.


There was just one line I didn't really understand. And that was your title line:

"And I'm pretty damn sure that I'm the thinking mans cure."

Just don't understand how you, a person, can be the cure for something as abstract as the "thinking man".

Other than that, I fully enjoyed this piece. Good job.
#5
Thanks all, really appreciate.

Blue paint cult, the thinking man part, is (hopefully) about, men always thinking about women and all that goes with it, and the whole idea here being A cure, its a bit of fun is all.

Thanks mate.
I am off out now but will get to everyones tom. Cheers
#6
It's all your critters, c4c

I believe there's a spelling mistake in there

Good piece once more, my friend. Near perfect flow, passionate and just well written.

You've got to start linking me to your works when you come a-knocking on mine, I keep missing them

Good Work. Keep it going
Last edited by Jammydude44 at Jun 29, 2006,
#7
Cheers Jammy old friend, and sorry to others above, got myself over busy at mo, but will get to yours once I get a minute.

Please give us a break Footballing Man in the sky, Come on England, and for f**ks sake no dodgy disallowed goals or flukey f**king goals against us.
Come on!
#8
You know Sol Campbells Going to fiiiiiiiiinnnnaaalllllyyy score a winner for us that is allowed...

Nice piece, once again. I re-read it
#9
Quote by Glenn James
It's all yours critters, c4c



One less vertebrae and my life would be fine.
I could bend over backwards, and manage my spine.
A love could grow like a beanstalk tree.
A love could grow between me and me.In form superb.

Oh hot lips on my finger.
Oh hot lips found my friend.
They?d never met until today,
But now it?s hard to keep them away.Very good, I feel that your structure is perfectly "musicable", moreso than any piece I've read in a while. Could fit to anything. I see an interpol-ish

In for another quiet night alone.
In for another honeymoon moan.
In for another dribble round the post.
In for another one man show.This is sad. I'm in a lack of words with this piece, it's really good.

Now one less spine block has started the descent.
Of the mans world promised until the very end.
Now all the women have to dig for the gold.
Cause all the men are happy staying at home.Biological, social, political, blooming, beautiful.

Oh hot lips on my finger.
Oh hot lips found my friend.
They?d never met until today.
Now its so hard to keep them away.

My money now goes further.
Now I?ve found a life without her.
And I?ve never been bored, since I bent for the sword.
And I?m pretty damn sure that I?m the thinking mans cure.Ok, this is the best so far, this is delectable. I feel guilty not saying more, but I really don't know how to describe how this hits me.

Oh hot lips on my finger.
Oh hot lips found my friend.
They?d never met until today.
Now its so hard to keep them away.

In for another quiet night alone.
In for another honeymoon moan.
In for another dribble round the post.
In for another one man show.



I really like this, as lyrics as well as as verse. Cool summer piece, even if the subject matter is depressing. Keep writing!

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