#1
How do you obey what the children say?
Pedestrians on the skeleton walkway
Am I making another hesitant mistake?
I watch you stutter and shake
There?s more to life than being alive
There?s more to six than five

And we all feel the ending begin
A silent place to sin
A world made just
To get us used to the spin
And take hold
Breathing out to soften the glow
Fire, and let the feeling flow

Why do they run to the light from the dark?
They should know its only A?s and arcs
So don't start
Your watching this to break my heart

Just read ead between the lines
One part paradise
Two part sacrifice
You are the new vice
Vindictive is a vignette
Of what you are; virago
I want bezique and she wants poker
(And I swear I don?t provoke her)
A new rhyme for the night time
A parting of the truth

It's just a self exploration
Into the darker motivations
Its more practical than patience
And i worry you don't see it

These people aren't mephitic enough
To hate the ?like? in love
Aforementioned to the reason above
Because it's better to be battered and bruised, among the neon fuse
Than to run, ripped into two;
Religiously anew
Fake and untrue
Me and not you

So why did you run from the light to the dark
Can't you see this is a specialist art
So don't start
You done all this to break my heart

But why do I speak in crosses in knots
Pretending this isn't what I want
Please dont stop
Your all thats keepin the beat in my heart
Keeping the beat in my heart
www.freewebs.com/silentproject
#3
thanks...really..thanks lol
www.freewebs.com/silentproject
#4
They're pretty sick lyrics, nice job. I would like to go into to great detail about certain parts, but i'd probably sound idiotic. Well from my perspective it seems you done a darn good job, nice rhyming technique and a variated rhyming scheme, keeps it interesting.

The only crit is, i felt the tempo or the syllable count kept changing, might have been me the way i read it, but i noticed it. Also the amount of lines in the verses kept changing, not really neccessary but it adds structure to it.

Apart from that, awesome lyrics. What inspired them?
#5
yeah they reasn for the abrupt changes is because they wer all written sperately and sort of bundled together, im still working on them..but all the parts i like are ther ^^

well bezique is a card game between two people
its about the games people play in like lying, and cheating..and the whole song is condeming it, saying we're just animals playing games the whole time, and we have no real feeling (' pedestrians on the skeleton walkway')

i use a relationship between a guy and a girl to mirror all this. anyway the songs about that, bu the last chorus gives a realisation, that playing the games is all part of life
('your all thats keeping the beat in my heart')

so...its basically soemthing like that
www.freewebs.com/silentproject
#6
Quote by tsp
yeah they reasn for the abrupt changes is because they wer all written sperately and sort of bundled together, im still working on them..but all the parts i like are ther ^^

well bezique is a card game between two people
its about the games people play in like lying, and cheating..and the whole song is condeming it, saying we're just animals playing games the whole time, and we have no real feeling (' pedestrians on the skeleton walkway')

i use a relationship between a guy and a girl to mirror all this. anyway the songs about that, bu the last chorus gives a realisation, that playing the games is all part of life
('your all thats keeping the beat in my heart')

so...its basically soemthing like that


Awesome. I've just learned something to
#12
TSP
Wow, the imagery that exudes from every sylable is amazing, i would love to hear this to music, i envision a very harsh rock track, all said and done you have skills dude major skills.
Pedestrians on the skeleton walkway is an awesome image
One part paradise
Two part sacrifice ......so very true
if you start a fan club, i want to run it
#13
haha thank you

its been formed into a song right now with my band

i'll be sure to post it on here, once we finish it and record it
www.freewebs.com/silentproject
#14
Wow. Those lyrics blew me away.. I can't even really describe them. Awesome job. Crit for crit? My song is called "Broken Hearts are for the Steal" if you wouldn't mind commenting. It shouldn't be too hard to find.
Quote by Hotpunksk8rgirl
I honestly don't see whats so dumb about my threads. I could make the most smarterest thread even and you would find something about it to pick on me for.....
#15
thanks man
i suppose thats just about the best compliment i could hope for!
i'll crit yours
www.freewebs.com/silentproject