#1
Smile at me
I dare you
show me your teeth?
Your dour mouth completes

don¨t push your luck
Its merely an illusion
it wont take the pressure
much less the price

love me
not too much

fold me
just enough

soil me
i like it rough

mold me
into a bluff

Smile at the world
it dares you
dont show it your teeth
or it¨ll fail you.

love me
not too much

fold me
just enough

soil me
i like it rough

mold me
into a bluff.

I mostly write my stuff in like 5 minutes and im done with it, i don't look back. But i wanted to know what you guys thought about this ? Its the one im the most pleased with of all my lyrics.
#3
as a lyricist i thought it was ok......it does seem kind of bare...to lose......but overall its good

"It wont take the pleasure......much less the price"

Awesome line......shivers down my spine
"oops....i rhymed"
#5
I rather adore this the opening stanza it reminds me alot of the Smiths stuff for some reason or other.

Over all you have some flow issues but y'know it's good none the less.

here if you have the time can you have a look at one of my things they are in my sig preferably the last one