#1



There's something primitive in it:
Like seeing an animal fight for its life and die
- but the opposite of that.
I told Coleridge I feel ugly today.

Here we sit.
I see everything animate.
Defribulate.
Thrive.
There's something primitive in it;
Stirring and rousing,
Finally alive.

Watching people unite;
Realise -
All the unrequited loves
Requite tonight.





__________________________________

Bah, this is experimental throwaway stuff, I suppose. Thought I'd put it out there nonetheless, though. Enjoy.
ρ
#2
Quote by scousertommy



There's something primitive in it:
Like seeing an animal fight for its life and die
- but the opposite of that.
I told Coleridge I feel ugly today.

Here we sit.
I see everything animate.
Defribulate.
Thrive.
There's something primitive in it;
Stirring and rousing,
Finally alive.

Watching people unite;
Realise -
All the unrequited loves
Requite tonight.





__________________________________

Bah, this is experimental throwaway stuff, I suppose. Thought I'd put it out there nonetheless, though. Enjoy.


yeah for you ronan. awesome job this reminds me of that 5 part piece i loved so. I havent much liked your late work but this. i like. I dont know why i like it. I mean i just i honestly cant tell you why after reading it multiple times I love the first stanza love the reptition of "theres something primitive in it" and unrequit/requit. Anyways i have nothing to say. If your returning "Loss of destiny and desire" in my sig

-Mike

p.s. whenever i crit i always try to find at least ONE thing i dont like so its not all praise. but i honestly cant in this case and if scarredfaiths week is up, i think this deserves a sticky. but thats just me
Last edited by TrigFunction at Jun 29, 2006,
#3
There's something primitive in it:
Like seeing an animal fight for its life and die
- but the opposite of that.
I told Coleridge I feel ugly today.A response to romanticism! Super! I love how the Hibernian writers here are interested in the classics. Your neo-existentialism is convincing and very well befitting of the harsh state of the world today. Your argument is olid, and it's not just a red herring. Pesimistic. I love how you have been able to say so much in so few words.

Here we sit.
I see everything animate.
Defribulate.
Thrive.
There's something primitive in it;
Stirring and rousing,
Finally alive.Not only is the content full and continuous, but you have managed to make it flow in excquisite fashion.

Watching people unite;
Realise -
All the unrequited loves
Requite tonight.WOW. wow! wow; wow? Perfect.


This piece is perfect, do not change a thing. Minimalism is often attempted but rarely mastered as well as this. Publish this. I am putting you up for WOTM (and SOTW). I adored this. Ireland is in good hands!


You may find this interesting as it portrays a similar situation to the republican dilemma...
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=381988&goto=nextoldest
#4
Really good.

Then the last stanza was prolly the best closer I've read in a long time.
マリ「しあわっせはーあるいってこないだーからあるいってゆっくんだねーん 
いっちにっちいっぽみーかでさんぽ
 さーんぽすすんでにっほさっがるー 
じーんせいはっわんつー!ぱんち・・・


"Success is as dangerous as failure. Hope is as hollow as fear." - from Tao Te Ching

#5
i don't know about the classical and stuff links, but I can kind of sympathise with the subject matter, and I love your description of kissing as animals fighting
#6
Heh, thanks people, I'll get to yours right away!

Heh, pooch, I'm not actually into the whole republican thing (I was just kidding around in the international comp thread ), and I actually vaguely dislike all things overtly Irish in my writing/reading!

Mike, thanks, I owe you waaay too much crittage at this stage, I'll get to yours first I promiiiise!

I'm surprised and glad people like this, cheers!
ρ
#7
I wasn't implying your position or anything, just stating that it probably is an issue that interests you. Oh and all this Irish talk gets me thinking, I got a bottle of Harp at this restaurant for 3.50$CAD, which is like the price of domestic. Keep up the writing man, as I was saying, I adored this piece, and keep it up.