#1
hi
this is a song(no music yet)i wrote about the breakup of a relation ship, i would love to hear your very valued opinions, and the realisation of what could be lost


Verse1
i cant go on like this its drivin me insane
we're goin round in circles tryin to shift the blame
we need to stop this now before it gets too late
cause pretty soon this love we had will turn to hate

Verse2
i used to love you but now i dont know what i feel
i hate the way i look for your achilles heel
i'm finding fault with all the things i used to like
and saying things to hurt you purley out of spite

Chorus
You did this, i did that
the hands of time just wont go back
you don't see me, i don't see you
we're not the people
the people we once knew

Verse3
cant we stop this fight there's nothing it achieves
i talk to you with words that you just wont believe
the silence is so loud it hurts me not to hear
the voice that soothed my mind and made things oh so clear

Verse4
i'm looking at the door, the one our love went through
and left two empty shells in a world thats coloured blue
have we come so far that we cant find our way
back along this dark path to a brighter day

Bridge
the people we once were and the people that we are
are not the same two people, we've grown so far apart
the people we once were are not the people that we are
no reason to be here but every reason to depart

Chorus
You did this, i did that
the hands of time just wont go back
you don' see me, i don't see you
we're not the people
the people we once knew
#2
Great use of words to make your point. Good luck on the music, that will be the hardest part to get the feeling you want from the music as well because the meaning in the lyrics are perfect. From when I read it I think more pop songs hip-hop tend to come from these kind of lyrics, the ones that make more of a direct statment in the sentences, but you could find a way to incorporate it into music of your own. I dont know how fast paced you want the singer to sing it or the kind of music you would put with it but I think you have some ideas of what they are.. try and tell us of a band that would best sing the song the way you picture it being, then alot of people could help easier I think. I could see Red Hot Chilie Peppers pulling it off though. Great lyrics, and good luck on creating the music for it.

Also I have had the same situation you had, I wrote about an ex of mine and I didnt know if I shoudl love or hate her still after so long we were apart especially since the bad times together came after the breakup because she still thought we could be friends when she had a new BF. Here is a part of it, It was more a poem though.

"Running on empty, you can't calm me down
Nothing is in it for me
I can feel it coming from all around
Whispers in my mind, driving me to insanity
Set me free, this is not how I wanted to be"
#3
I like it, nice words, now, putting guitar and drums and bass and whatever will be hard.. ask me if you need help.
"Guitar was and is the best instrument created"


DIE
#4
I like the words a lot, especially the chorus.

I do disagree with everyone else in that I don't think it would be particularly difficult to put music to. Then again, I play punk rhythm, so I don't do stuff that's excessively complicated.