Ok here is my latest...I know my others didnt go well so here is another. It has a Motley Crue sound and it has a break in between each two lines...except for the chorus. So here it is...i need some help so plz crit

Panama City

Static filled speakers,
Is all i can hear,
Its the kind of sound,
that'll drive you insane,
so hold on tight and,
come along for the ride,
We'll leave this place,
in search of our minds,

Don't think twice,
just come w/ me baby,
as we make our way,
down to Panama City

The engine roars and,
fills my veins like blood,
the rush comes upon you,
like a tidal wave,
but don't let go,
as we're on our way,

Guitar solo

Chorus 2x

Tires stop spinning,
as we reach the end,
of our very long journey,
to a beach of sand,
start all over,
in a brand new place,
and I'll be happy,
just to see your face

Don't think twice,
just stay w/ me baby,
and start a new life,
here in Panama City

Ok thats it..umm let me know what u think..peace out