#1
Just something else i wrote, let me know what you think!


Brilliant Masterpiece


A drive so long, to a place so fake
Just trying to keep a smile on your face

Lost like a feather blowing in the wind
Never knowing where you'll land in the end

Confused and lonely, lost your priority
Running back to something so unreal


Times were shared
Words were said
Feelings felt
As she ran through your head

Wishing for complete relief
But still in disbelief
When you put effort there
Then theres pain
And the joy just cant compare


This was all just a show in the end
A brilliant masterpiece played out by him
Do you see it?
Can you feel it?
You need to breathe this!


Emotions unknown
Feelings get shown
The song begins
Seems like it wont ever end

A powerfull sound, pounding in your ears
Reminds you of your mistakes and fears


You try to tune it out
But just another brilliant masterpiece played out again
He gives you a chance, just to find him
Take that chance!
Grab it and run
And never look back


You soon find strength
A calm takes over your soul
The play turns into a beautiful picture
And the song...Into a sweet melody


Another day, another place
You find him there, your saving grace
So live your life, because your free
Find yourself and complete this journey
On the day that I go up they'll be completely out of forgiveness supplies

Member No.8 of Brand New Anonymous. PM MattDaviesFFAF, the_astronaut or ghettohippygirl to join.
#2
All I can say is
Great. That was REALLY REALLY good, One of the best ive ever seen, let alone on UG. It sounds like something you'd hear from a famous song writer or something, Dashboard confessional or Howie day or something.
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^^

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#3
Not my favourite style, and a couple of cliché lines, but other than that, very good. Kinda hard to get the rhythm though, but I suppose that should be expected when reading, as opposed to listening to, songs.
Quote by Mascot
yuR a fAggit
#4
yeah its meant to be a slow acoustic song.....i have ideas for change, but i liked where i was going.....ill post with cahnge and see what everyone thinks
On the day that I go up they'll be completely out of forgiveness supplies

Member No.8 of Brand New Anonymous. PM MattDaviesFFAF, the_astronaut or ghettohippygirl to join.
#5
yeah really good man, realy liked it, cant really offer any suggestions cos i cant write that good but id give it 9/10
#6
thanks man....i still have some stuff to do, so hopefully it wil be even better later
On the day that I go up they'll be completely out of forgiveness supplies

Member No.8 of Brand New Anonymous. PM MattDaviesFFAF, the_astronaut or ghettohippygirl to join.