#1
I just did this one, Its meant to be an ironic thing. Unpleasent lyrics over pleasent music. Not my best, but it doesnt matter, I sorta like it. Im Not sure if it should be acoustic or electric yet. Ill put in the chords too if anyone wants to try to make some sense of it. Its about a measure of each chord in the verses, the ending is quicker, half a measure of each chord. The whole thing should be syncopated and all the F#'s are bars.
Thanks in advance

E F#
Clock strikes ten and Im still waiting
E A
On a call from a friend
E F#
My patience is so un-a-baiting
E A
Its time to make amends


E F#
I still recall the screeching halt
E A
Sitting all alone I thought
E F#
I walked right on but I do condone
E F# A
Blame it on me, It's all my fault


E F#
Ill see you on wendsdays
E A
But will it ever be the same
E F#
I dont know why I did it
E A
I was actin oh so strange


I said
E F#
Fine then, Never mind
A F#
Im sorry for asking
E F#
Just go an forget it
A F#
I guess I find
E F#
These Bonds Aching
A F#
With envy of you.

Tonight


Its about a longggg over fight I had with a friend, I tried to talk to her and she was so busy with all her other friends we got into a fight because she ignored me, so I did the same in return.


Blah. The chords wont go in the right places.
I guess you've got the order if you want to try to sing along, Chord changes are on the first and last word for the most part.
Quote by boardsofcanada
^^

<_<
~Bass'-play-er.

The #1 member of the club that isn't terribly predjudiced against emo. Get over yourselves.
PM me, or just say # x
And part of Fortysix and twos Defenders of Emo club.

" Zach_F I love you for that."
#2
its good, might be hard for alot of peopel to relate to, i liek the chords progression, check out my song, Global Dimming/Warming
#3
Thanks. Will do.
Quote by boardsofcanada
^^

<_<
~Bass'-play-er.

The #1 member of the club that isn't terribly predjudiced against emo. Get over yourselves.
PM me, or just say # x
And part of Fortysix and twos Defenders of Emo club.

" Zach_F I love you for that."
#4
alright dude, ask yourself, why did you write this? what did you want the audience to get out of this? I dont believe its as simple as 'me and a friend got in a fight', theres got to be at least one more important theme present so you can expand, because, as it is now all it is is a slightly nice song whose flow is aight and lyrics are fairly bad. I guess my main problem with it is, yah, its way too fuking simple, theres no real emotion held within these lyrics, you mine as well just have repeated your intro in place of the actual piece. My other problem with it is it is completely juvinille and rather immature. My advice to fix these is to first broaden the vocabulary used, find some synonyms to more accurately define the topic. Second, pick apart your soul; what I mean by this is what I meant in the first sentence, why the hell did you write this? If it truly is as simple as 'me and a friend got in a fight' then there is no way you can build a good, emotional song out of it.

k, so overall, good for what it was (ie. there was good flow) but what it was wasnt much.

sorry, I kinda rambled and maybe repeated myself, I'm tired . crit mine please? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=386089
#5
Its meant to be obvious, Im not looking for cryptic meanings or anything in this one. Ive got plenty that are much more sophisticated, this was just to get a point out, keep it plain and simple. But thanks.
Ill critique yours.
Quote by boardsofcanada
^^

<_<
~Bass'-play-er.

The #1 member of the club that isn't terribly predjudiced against emo. Get over yourselves.
PM me, or just say # x
And part of Fortysix and twos Defenders of Emo club.

" Zach_F I love you for that."