#1
This is about a couple of different things, Its not quite as obvious as the rest of my lyrics, so Ill explain a little more this time.

Its been a long time
A forever long time
Since I saw the shine
A point of light at night

Our overloaded reality
Obscures me view
Our polluted minds
Languish in a prozac and creatine haze

You could take it away
Fill the sky with grey and pray
But one day someday
It'll all be so clear

Staring down from up above
I could see the workings of this world
I see the true endeavor
Its we, The fault in this fine machine

Sorry says your maker
Check has bounced
Your lease is now up
Please vacate within the week

There they are
Waiting for me still
But how can I see
Through the hazy sepia
Photograph
This isnt real
Because Im spinning too fast

How could my eyes stay dusty
To my surprise its all here
In this modern life in a snowglobe
Go and never stop
Its not about them, only me
I can see for miles
And its all rubble
My worlds all burnt out.


Alrighteo then.
Its out there for me, written over a long period of time when I felt compelled, Everything but the last 6 lines is after a salvia trip or during an acid trip.

Its about how I miss seeing stars, and havent in a long time.
The second verse is about all the hypochondria I see, and how we cant really see whats going on anymore because of all the chemical crap we ingest. The creatine being the steroids fed to us in all sorts of food.
the 3rd verse is my opinion on religion, looking down from heaven to see the stars from above, no matter what happens this life
The 4th verse is about me coming to a sudden realization that we really dont deserve our planet the way we treat it.
The next verse is pretty obvious, but its meant to generalise the entire race, not just one person.
Your guess is as good as mine on the next one, I like it, but I have no idea what I was thinking when I wrote it.
The end is self explanitory.
Quote by boardsofcanada
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#2
Quote by Zach_F
This is about a couple of different things, Its not quite as obvious as the rest of my lyrics, so Ill explain a little more this time.

Its been a long time
A forever long time
Since I saw the shine
A point of light at night

mmkay not much comment here its rather bland and misleading. not descriptive another in my opinion doesnt set much of a scene.

Our overloaded reality
Obscures me view
Our polluted minds
Languish in a prozac and creatine haze

oo drugs ha. This isnt a bad way to put it, though creatine is for muscles and you used it as a drug?

You could take it away
Fill the sky with grey and pray
But one day someday
It'll all be so clear

i loved the rhyme in the first two lines but the 3rd line dissapointed me, it went to far there.

Staring down from up above
I could see the workings of this world
I see the true endeavor
Its we, The fault in this fine machine

this is good, though i dont like the "its we, the fault in this fine machine" the whole fault in the fine machine is good but i dont like the way you put it with the "its we"

Sorry says your maker
Check has bounced
Your lease is now up
Please vacate within the week

umm mkay. bland.

There they are
Waiting for me still
But how can I see
Through the hazy sepia
Photograph
This isnt real
Because Im spinning too fast

good

How could my eyes stay dusty
To my surprise its all here
In this modern life in a snowglobe
Go and never stop
Its not about them, only me
I can see for miles
And its all rubble
My worlds all burnt out.

dont like line 3 for obvious reasons. kind of a lame endding in my opinion

Alrighteo then.
Its out there for me, written over a long period of time when I felt compelled, Everything but the last 6 lines is after a salvia trip or during an acid trip.

Its about how I miss seeing stars, and havent in a long time.
The second verse is about all the hypochondria I see, and how we cant really see whats going on anymore because of all the chemical crap we ingest. The creatine being the steroids fed to us in all sorts of food.
the 3rd verse is my opinion on religion, looking down from heaven to see the stars from above, no matter what happens this life
The 4th verse is about me coming to a sudden realization that we really dont deserve our planet the way we treat it.
The next verse is pretty obvious, but its meant to generalise the entire race, not just one person.
Your guess is as good as mine on the next one, I like it, but I have no idea what I was thinking when I wrote it.
The end is self explanitory.


I have a feeling i came around as an ass in my crit. which i do quite frequently to people because i always point out whats wrong, not whats good. So anyways this was alright, i only crit usually what i think has some potention and this does. so nice job, and if your feeling bored / if your returning. crit sparks dance, in my sig.

-Mike
#3
i like it alot, its kind of weird how you wrote this during trips, its actually kind of neat. great job, crit mine? Its the "fireplace" one, on the thread page, you'll see it
#4
i like em. very insightful. i get a funny feeling from them thats like unknown..i dont know i like them. good job
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#5
It sounds good but the thing I don't like is how it goes from almost every line rhyming to none at all. But besides that I like the fact that it's sort of mysterious. Good Job.